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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #6326  
Old 19th June 2020, 05:46
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Does Varley want a red crayon to start colouring in parts of the globe? Has he decided to ignore BLM? If he is not careful the word will get back to IOM and their radical students may pull down his statue on the Douglas Esplanade.
"This island now belong Mrs Queen" cuts no ice any more.
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  #6327  
Old 19th June 2020, 05:53
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However, we are still unaware of our location. I cant be sure even of which ocean we are in let alone what island. (where I live there are 1110 of the blighters at low water)
1110 islands and a Bank Boat high and dry on every one. I think we may have to raise our game to match Bank Lines standards. We will make all our 3rd Mates Uncertificated and our Master will have to run his own Bond and screw everyone.
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  #6328  
Old 19th June 2020, 10:25
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I am not sure if our radical student values the lives of the melanin enriched above others. We could not really test him by fire as we have lost our Minister for fire-starting (a noted national/arson-ist) but he did manage 'Island b'long Missy Quin' when he was politely threatened with the Squire's huntin' crop.

(How DoE manages his renowned barbies without the assistance of His Misses' Oxidation councillor remains moot).

I have enough crayon for that job but some bastard has pinched the green ones. I suspect both tree-huggers and hairy Hibernians. Hairy tree-hugging Hibernian plumbers are on the book at 100-1. On.
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  #6329  
Old 23rd June 2020, 16:11
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Hairy tree-hugging Hibernian plumbers are on the book at 100-1. On.

Not with Paddy Power.
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  #6330  
Old 24th June 2020, 16:47
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Paddy Power??? is he an Orish Injuneer per chance? You have a very poor memory David my lad, you sold me the Green crayons for St Patrick's day celebrations or were you too pissed on the "falling down water" to remember?
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  #6331  
Old 24th June 2020, 20:47
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Isn't that the true Manxman, he sold you a green crayon on St Patricks Day. Generous to a fault.

The only Power I know is John Power of Gold Label Whiskey fame. A gentleman.
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  #6332  
Old 25th June 2020, 12:48
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Paddy Power??? is he an Orish Injuneer per chance? You have a very poor memory David my lad, you sold me the Green crayons for St Patrick's day celebrations or were you too pissed on the "falling down water" to remember?
Au contraire plombier de la fosse.

For several years St.P's festivities have coincided with the plumbers' posh feast at Guildhall and my annual blow-out in the smoke. I remember these events well as the bloody parade always impedes perambulations around St.James's. Especially F&M and Chequers. Being alcoholically concussed is against Club rules (sandals are not) and whilst Chequers does serve Guinness (and, fortunately, proper beer too) it has the usual rules against serving drunks.

This year, of course, was different but if you made it over here to swipe from my pencil case I'll have the law on to you. Had you caught me late enough on in the day any such theft might have gone unnoticed although I don't know why that should as normally I see two or three of everything then, never do know which stairs lead to Bedfordshire.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan

Last edited by Varley; 25th June 2020 at 12:52.
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  #6333  
Old 25th June 2020, 12:52
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Whisky for varnish. Whiskey for varniseh?

(I don't doubt he is a Gentleman however).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6334  
Old 25th June 2020, 13:50
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someone mention Whiskey....I'll have a large one please!
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  #6335  
Old 25th June 2020, 16:15
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Au contraire plombier de la fosse.

the usual rules against serving drunks.

Since when did you ever care or for that matter ever obey any rules



This year, of course, was different but if you made it over here to swipe from my pencil case I'll have the law on to you. .
You were that pissed I removed the pencil case and all other sharp objects from around your person, so much for the thanks I get you obviously have selective amnesia otherwise you would remember how your got your fingers all green
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  #6336  
Old 25th June 2020, 16:47
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otherwise you would remember how your got your fingers all green
After sailing from Lourenšo Marques poor old V had something that turned green but the Doc pumped him full of aunty biologicals and it didn't fall horf. We could try similar with his fingers, where the hell has he been putting them? Honestly the things he gets up to!
May I inquire where we are and where we are drifting towards. The wheelhouse is suspiciously quiet with all hands looking into a mahogany box with a brass gizmo init,
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  #6337  
Old 25th June 2020, 19:55
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After sailing from Lourenšo Marques poor old V had something that turned green but the Doc pumped him full of aunty biologicals and it didn't fall horf. We could try similar with his fingers, where the hell has he been putting them? Honestly the things he gets up to!
May I inquire where we are and where we are drifting towards. The wheelhouse is suspiciously quiet with all hands looking into a mahogany box with a brass gizmo init,
I dunno, we are injuneers nobody in the deckie crowd ever tells us anything unless it's broken and needs fixed as long as they steer clear of the lumpy bits I wouldn't antagonise them
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  #6338  
Old 25th June 2020, 20:39
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Wise words my friend, wise words. I'll be nice and offer to fix that contraption with the brass protractor thingy and all the bits of glass, all they need then is a bit of sun and a Seiko 5 and we will be back on their Kellogg's Cornflakes map of the world.
Bar Tender send a bottle of Ammonia Tilado Sherry and 6 glasses to the Wheelhouse with the Black Gang's compliments.
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  #6339  
Old 26th June 2020, 09:05
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Hold the Ammonialarder let me treat the congregation to some Goodmanzilla. A case at vegroom temperature is on its way up.

(If you cannot distinguish 'broken' from 'forgotten how to use' I am going to offend my instincts and suggest we temporarily rely on GPS. The next thing we'll be told is that you have no idea how to start a chronometer never having let one run down. I should cocoa - itz wot evri 2/O kno. Anyway I have just got a time signal but you'll have to give me minute or two to type it up - Sir W doesn't like handwritten Marconigrams).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6340  
Old 26th June 2020, 09:10
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You were that pissed I removed the pencil case and all other sharp objects from around your person, so much for the thanks I get you obviously have selective amnesia otherwise you would remember how your got your fingers all green
Untrue Sir! I saw all four of you and the green came from the dyed larger that you spilled on me. Lager! what a foul trick. I know it tastes, when the pipes haven't been cleaned anyway, but it's better poured overside than over me (but never in a MARPOL Special Area).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6341  
Old 26th June 2020, 12:23
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Wow!...ES pushing the boat out eh...I'll have a glass of that thanks.
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  #6342  
Old 26th June 2020, 13:30
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Have a schooner, it's from the veg room and smells vaguely of spring onions.

"Anyway I have just got a time signal". Good God, if it's noon in Greenwich it must be 35 degrees Celsius in the South China Sea. By the time you find your reading glasses and type with one finger we could be off the coast of Malabar.
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  #6343  
Old 27th June 2020, 10:42
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Its OK E-S. By the time the boy takes it up it'll have made 360 (if he's already awake it might be 180 and we'll just add "In the forenoon" after "piiiiiiiip").

Steward. Bring something vaguely alliumlial as well, if you'd be so kind. E-S thinks that would go well with the 'zilla.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6344  
Old 27th June 2020, 11:48
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Steward fetch me a case of Special reserve port and a box of Havanas please.
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  #6345  
Old 30th June 2020, 23:41
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Oh and kindly inform Mr Varley it smoko time up here will you.
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  #6346  
Old 1st July 2020, 10:53
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Here I am Sir W. Did I hear Havana's mentioned? By the way here's your time signal and the junior thought he'd throw in a couple of DF bearings and a traffic list, enjoy.(He may be up later when he has found a weather forecast fit for an afternoon at bronzie).

Special reserve eh? Can't afford that myself but as it's smoko - yee har! Got a light?

I say! Pickled shallots. Good-oh. I take it E-S is up from the pit already.
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6347  
Old 2nd July 2020, 04:17
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Main engines are not on so send down for Tmac. Long time since we had him up for a Bridge party. quite nice just drifting around like this. I see the stewards have fishing lines over the wall so might be in for a good fish supper tonight eh.
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  #6348  
Old 2nd July 2020, 06:56
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The Chief and myself are too busy down below dealing with a main engine failure to partake in a Bridge Beano. The Metalock Man is not over the moon and is doing much scratching of his head and his backside, the soft squealchy bit.
His electron microscope detected a red residue on the crack surface. It turned out that the original bushing had been fitted with crossed threads that had initiated a crack in the thread profiles. The final layer of dielectric paint had penetrated the crack, giving rise to the evidence of the smoking gun barrel. The other tell-tales of our failure are the tide marks, like an arrow pointing to the culprit.
We must get up and running as me and Tmax must be in port for the night of the "Eleventh" and the following day. (Strike Flag "Uniform" as Snowflakes may be just over the horizon.)
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  #6349  
Old 2nd July 2020, 12:18
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That contraption was driven from both ends so just hoist back the prime mover on the broken side back out of the way and Robert is your Auntie's metallurgical if torsionally unbalanced husband. Just remember to start the bit on the unbroken side (at a distance if you are worried).

For heaven's sake get them both home for 11th Night or we'll not have an unburned courtesy flag for Enemy Occupied Hibernia left in the locker (I'm with the Snowflakes on this one - let's pull down a statue of Cromwell. Remember, Bog Lovers Matter).
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6350  
Old 2nd July 2020, 15:03
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No, No, No. Have you gone mad Varley? Cromwell is one of us, he had no truck with any of Paddy's shenanigans. Cromwell and King Billy stay put. As for flags, or Flegs as they are rightly known in Britannic Ulster, we'll say no more as some people get het-up very easily and start frothing at the mouth.
If this rust bucket had kerbstones we could paint them red,white and blue to give a festive and hamely feel to the ship. BB get the Bosun to give a lick of paint to the hatch covers. Please.
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