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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #6276  
Old 1st June 2020, 10:14
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Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
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Sir W, I think you can let us each do his own bragging. Anyway are you sure the 'lassie' wasn't from Danny's?
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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  #6277  
Old 1st June 2020, 11:14
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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This ship is becoming a coven for old women gossiping, lets have no more of it. We have a treasure trove of manly stories, we should start telling them and let the rest be amazed.
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  #6278  
Old 1st June 2020, 20:44
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It was a dark and a stormy night and the Captain said to the cabin boy "Tell us a tale!"

I forget the rest, or my mind has blanked it out.
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  #6279  
Old 1st June 2020, 22:50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Varley View Post
Sir W, I think you can let us each do his own bragging. Anyway are you sure the 'lassie' wasn't from Danny's?
Might have been Mr Varley. It was a long time ago.
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  #6280  
Old 2nd June 2020, 07:35
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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The Bond has not been refreshed in living memory, nearly 3 months. We're all Covid 19 and have forgotten Vat 19. Priorities Gentlemen, Priorities. If we neglect our wellbeing we will loose our immunity to all sorts of diseases and it will end up with an umbrella up the big blue vein. Just typing it brings tears to my eyes. Be warned BB.
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  #6281  
Old 2nd June 2020, 12:37
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I prefer a good Vat 69 myself, well except for when I get some hair stuck between my teeth.
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  #6282  
Old 2nd June 2020, 13:17
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Gentlemen normally take them out and put them in a glass on the bedside locker. Be nice, T.
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  #6283  
Old 2nd June 2020, 14:14
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Be nice, T.
Don't know the meaning of the word lad, you NEVER hear the word NICE and INJUNEER in the same sentence

Tip from a professional, ALWAYS keep the teeth in, much better to nibble than suck
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #6284  
Old 3rd June 2020, 10:29
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Shipmates Good News..... Tmax has invited us down to the Changing Room for drinks and nibbles at, at sex, which is 18.00 hrs on the H&W clock. On past performance it could descend into a bit of a swarry so be sure to get an Access All Areas badge.
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  #6285  
Old 3rd June 2020, 13:33
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Tmax. Are we talking of heat engines or do we just expect hot stuff? With your grasp of efficiency I expect Tmin would be too hot!

(And might I add your advice about my teeth and the bedside locker - that porcelain there is not meant as a denture quencher, can't you tell by its size?)
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan

Last edited by Varley; 3rd June 2020 at 13:41.
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  #6286  
Old 3rd June 2020, 16:44
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Varley dear lad, not to worry the latent heat from the injuns is ducted up the big pole thingie at the front with the lights on it, to keep the crow warm in its nest and to defrost the lights.

All you require is a super sized tub of Vaseline and the world is your lobster. Please don't confuse that with a tub of Chockfast otherwise you might be in for a sticky end.
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #6287  
Old 3rd June 2020, 17:11
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I've seen you shimmy Chief and while you can still do that I'll keep the Chockfast red-pencilled.

I may have misunderstood E-S. The porcelain container would be OK for keeping one's hair in I suppose but it would then not only look ridiculous in the morning but might not smell too good either.

And another thing! Vaseline is no good for crabs. Not unless you set it on fire after application.
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6288  
Old 3rd June 2020, 19:21
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Did you hear about the couple who didn't know the difference between Vaseline and putty?
All their windows fell out.
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  #6289  
Old 4th June 2020, 00:02
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The stuffs no good in place of puttee either - the boots fall off.
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6290  
Old 4th June 2020, 06:21
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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And Ypres mud will get into the turn-ups in your trousers.
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  #6291  
Old 5th June 2020, 05:21
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Steward!... set up the pool bar please. it my birthday. drinks all round on my tab if you please.
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  #6292  
Old 5th June 2020, 06:32
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Steward!... set up the pool bar please. it my birthday. drinks all round on my tab if you please.
Best wishes for your birthday BB.
I'll just have a coffee (and three Drambuies to go with it, please, seeing as you are paying ).
Geoff (YM)
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  #6293  
Old 5th June 2020, 10:58
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Happy Birthday Boss, I trust the memsahib has a treat in store for you but failing that a libation or three can be had in the injun room. Admittance gained upon receipt of the secret knock
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #6294  
Old 5th June 2020, 13:10
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Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
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Sir W. Have as many more of them as you yourself can tolerate. Here I have festively wrapped this big tub of Vaseline, I've only used a teeny bit.

Ignore Tmac, that secret knock is coming from the crankcase.
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6295  
Old 5th June 2020, 14:34
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Tmac1720 Northern Ireland Tmac1720 is offline
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DON'T USE THE VASELINE It's a trap, Varley put sand in it

Hoi, my injuns don't knock they humm gently like a satisfied cat
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
Reply With Quote
  #6296  
Old 5th June 2020, 15:28
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Varley View Post
Sir W. Ignore Tmac, that secret knock is coming from the crankcase.
As Tmax and myself often say to one another, it's better to hear it than smell it. And we are unanimous on that.
Almost unanimous.
Mostly unanimous.
In fact blood has been spilt during discussions.
But we settled things with an evening in Hatfield House.
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  #6297  
Old 5th June 2020, 16:04
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Sir William, have a good day, I am lifting a glass to you. A pint mug of Champagne half and half with Guinness is most acceptable for a birthday tipple.
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  #6298  
Old 5th June 2020, 16:05
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For the mathematically challenged, that makes 2 pints or a quart.
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Rabelais
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  #6299  
Old 5th June 2020, 18:17
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Rounded up to half a gallon.
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  #6300  
Old 6th June 2020, 10:04
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Why stop at that? Let's make it a full Gallon.
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