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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #3851  
Old 8th October 2018, 06:34
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Originally Posted by Varley View Post
You're a vain bugger. The underwear doesn't 'bind' if your boiler suit's big enough. I suppose you have platform engine room boots too.
I've never seen platform boots like Tmac's --- all those multi coloured sparkles - (very chic) or are they just metal filings??? Better keep an good eye on them as there are probably one, two, or more plasticos who would love a pretty pair like that.
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  #3852  
Old 8th October 2018, 08:41
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post
Ooooohhh very posh, silk boxers eh?.. not great for preventing skid marks and they creep up the crack of your arse

I'll just make do with my old "Budgie smugglers" the oil and grease stains hid the skid marks


Go Commando big man.


Like me. But keep your bicycle clips on.

Last edited by Engine Serang; 8th October 2018 at 08:43. Reason: None.
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  #3853  
Old 8th October 2018, 19:16
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Midnight parties are great. Heres me in nowt but me silk Boxer shorts. Large one for me please steward!
Did you get dressed in the dark Sir William? Those boxer shorts look more like French Unmentionables now they're out in the fading evening light. It's the lace trim that concerns me.
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  #3854  
Old 8th October 2018, 22:00
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But keep your bicycle clips on.
Much can be concealed. And retained.

Just sipping some single malt, it's like a toffee apple wrapped in a kipper. Don't breath out near a naked flame.
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  #3855  
Old 9th October 2018, 06:47
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There's only two things on this ship that smells like kippers.
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  #3856  
Old 9th October 2018, 10:12
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Well, Farmer John has revealed one and the Plasticos have just poured boiling water over some brown flat things and layed 'em out for breakfast (along with that egg to order). What you have hanging in the uptachimbley is your business. Please keep it that way.
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  #3857  
Old 9th October 2018, 11:04
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I bought these from a gentlemans outfitters in Bugis street. First time I have worn them. Lace you say? Oh my you are right Dart Skipper! never mind....this party could turn into a SODS Opera ha ha ha
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  #3858  
Old 9th October 2018, 12:24
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Very fetching. The problem is with whom they are likely to fetch!

(I have just noticed an invitation to send you a message via Skype - what exactly is a Skype and how much is it per word? - Gold Francs please. Chelmsford wouldn't like to have a competing service on GD).
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  #3859  
Old 9th October 2018, 14:24
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Chelmsford, Chelmsford??


Last century Old Man (As youse useto say to each other).


This vessel, GD II, is GDMSS,GMSDD, DGSSM, don't carry a Sparky. No wonder the bar bills are up in a heap.
And half the crew mincing around the Promenade Deck with silk drawers and sweaty bollocks. Smells like par-boiled kippers.
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  #3860  
Old 9th October 2018, 16:17
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There's only two things on this ship that smells like kippers.
Reminds me of the blind man passing a fishmongers, he raised his hat and said "Good evening ladies"
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  #3861  
Old 9th October 2018, 18:14
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I was advised by a former employee of a Mac Fisheries outlet, never to buy any fish "that advertised itself."
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  #3862  
Old 9th October 2018, 18:30
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Subtile, Tmac, subtile.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #3863  
Old 9th October 2018, 23:16
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Reminds me off the late John Briggs comment about confusion. He likened it to 7 blind lesbians on a Tuna boat. Really miss John on here. Rest in peace shipmate.
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  #3864  
Old 10th October 2018, 06:21
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Reminds me off the late John Briggs comment about confusion. He likened it to 7 blind lesbians on a Tuna boat. Really miss John on here. Rest in peace shipmate.
Miss our old shipmate Mr. Barnes the door man as well -- bloody things squeaking from side to side with the roll of the ship --- surely someone aboard can fix that with some WD40 -- or have we drunk it all????
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  #3865  
Old 10th October 2018, 09:04
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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No Tom, you're doing it all wrong, no wonder you're still standing. Spray the WD into a paper bag and then inhale it, now your motoring. Do not tell Tmac or we will spend all our drinking time loading pallets of paper bags.
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  #3866  
Old 10th October 2018, 11:39
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If we are really short I can let you have some of the '94. I also have some Armaclean, the '88, but as it is the final vintage (some foolery about Oz's own layer) it is reserved for Christmas and the odd loyal toast.

I might add that taking it like that is very juvenile and bloody dangerous if enjoying a Havana with it.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #3867  
Old 10th October 2018, 17:08
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No Tom, you're doing it all wrong, no wonder you're still standing. Spray the WD into a paper bag and then inhale it, now your motoring. Do not tell Tmac or we will spend all our drinking time loading pallets of paper bags.
I've heard of being well lubricated, but not literally! If you ingest too much WD40, does it have a freeing up effect on internal workings?
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  #3868  
Old 11th October 2018, 09:42
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It prevents the hip replacement rusting and stops snails and slugs slithering up the nasal passage.
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  #3869  
Old 11th October 2018, 10:52
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I fear the loosening effect would be about equal between tools and stools.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #3870  
Old 11th October 2018, 13:53
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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We always have a 5 gallon gerrycan of Lectrasol in Leckys workshop (a palindrome, I believe)to entertain the off-watch guys at St-Easy. Tmac always brings a packet of Arrowroot or Marietta biccies to raise the event to Afternoon Tea level.
Tomorrow we are going to celebrate with a cake baked by the steadfast Ashers in Glengormley, all are welcome. No Poofters.
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  #3871  
Old 11th October 2018, 14:05
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Lucky, then, that you don't have any palindrome handy then isn't it?. I suppose you might try the WD40 instead. And, by the by, who said you could do that (or that) in my workshop?
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #3872  
Old 11th October 2018, 19:52
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Tomorrow we are going to celebrate with a cake baked by the steadfast Ashers in Glengormley, all are welcome. No Poofters.
And what pray are we going to sit on then? I like a nice soft pooffe on my Derry Air

Ashers in Glengormley?.... Doagh Road one I presume (the heathens won't get that)
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  #3873  
Old 11th October 2018, 19:54
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Lucky, then, that you don't have any palindrome handy then isn't it?. I suppose you might try the WD40 instead. And, by the by, who said you could do that (or that) in my workshop?
Great stuff that WD40, cures coughs, colds, sore arse holes and pimples on your ******
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Oul scabby knuckles

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Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #3874  
Old 11th October 2018, 20:52
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I read somewhere that WD40 was mainly fish oil, and I have never heard them squeak, whether they have sore arseholes or pimples on their **** I have no idea.
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  #3875  
Old 11th October 2018, 20:54
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I would love an arrangement on here where, if you typed in ******, a random obscenity was substituted.
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