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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #6151  
Old 17th March 2020, 14:55
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I am led to believe that Varley has been in secret communication with the Superintendent ashore regarding the ongoing crisis and effective countermeasures. My spy advises the the GD will be STUFT within the next day or two for use as a CCCC (go on work that out) for Boris or as I prefer to refer to him by his native American indian name "Walking Eagle" which translates as "big fat bird so full of shit it can't fly"

So there we have it lads, our future is assured on this long term charter provided nobody coughs, farts or sneezes
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  #6152  
Old 17th March 2020, 15:40
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CCCC
Cantrell and Cochrane Cordial Carrier. (Well they have OJ tankers in Ijsselhaven).
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  #6153  
Old 17th March 2020, 15:54
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Rest easy. I thought the inclusion of cordial meant non-alcoholic. The interweb suggests it is just another purveyor of bothiebath abuse juice. Probably lifts paint like the others.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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  #6154  
Old 20th March 2020, 11:32
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Coronovirus Case Coffin Carrier?
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6155  
Old 20th March 2020, 13:45
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Coronavirus Cough Control Centre (NOT as good as David's I admit)
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #6156  
Old 20th March 2020, 18:33
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BBC news reports Lord V arrested for failing to Self-Isolate. Punishment will be 3 months in jail or 6 of the best.
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  #6157  
Old 21st March 2020, 10:29
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Sadly we birch no more. He's probably safer inside than being at the mercy of an angry bogrolleless mob baying for pasta and threatened with pub closure. (We now have two confirmed cases - both acquired off Island it is thought. We are still only advised to stay away from hospitality but this is not yet mandated).

(Have just read we have a new acronym over here. PIPs - Potentially Infected People. Pip, pip).
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan

Last edited by Varley; 21st March 2020 at 12:11.
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  #6158  
Old 23rd March 2020, 16:14
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Quote:
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Sadly we birch no more.
Now, there is a commercial opening, a whole industry could be developed.
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  #6159  
Old 23rd March 2020, 17:27
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13 cases today and locked down. The nine-tailed cat not the birch.

Wine Cellar chaps tell me that alcohol is not being classed as essential WRT freight - what hell has this speck of genetic material wrought?
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6160  
Old 23rd March 2020, 20:08
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Tell your Wine Cellar chaps that alcohol is not a matter of life and death, it's more important than that.
Do you have your own Sommelier in Chateau V?
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  #6161  
Old 24th March 2020, 11:14
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made an emergency run ashore to Tesco for vital injuneering supplies, beer and crisps, they said all you need is a mask and gloves but the feckers lied. Everybody else had clothes on and I am now barred from Tesco for life.
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #6162  
Old 24th March 2020, 11:17
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Originally Posted by Engine Serang View Post
Tell your Wine Cellar chaps that alcohol is not a matter of life and death, it's more important than that.
Do you have your own Sommelier in Chateau V?
Of course.

(But I keep the key!)
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6163  
Old 24th March 2020, 12:04
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Shirley the mask was well big enough to cover all other wee bits and pieces. You're bragging again, just like your stories about the Titanic and Esso Ulidia. Tesco's indeed, what's wrong with M&S? You are a cheapskate and in danger of giving us all a bad name.
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  #6164  
Old 24th March 2020, 13:14
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Surely Ulidia was Groucho's (and it was Hesperus not Titanic).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6165  
Old 25th March 2020, 17:43
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...giving us all a bad name.
We don't care.
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  #6166  
Old 28th March 2020, 10:57
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anyone getting cabin fever yet?
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  #6167  
Old 28th March 2020, 11:03
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Of course. It will only go away when we get MIJMA from Port State.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6168  
Old 28th March 2020, 11:49
Engine Serang Europe Engine Serang is offline
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MIJMA? Would that be a Code 17?
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  #6169  
Old 28th March 2020, 12:27
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It is/was in the international code of signals for the asking and granting of pratique. An obscure document even in my day and neither the old man (the youngest deck officer incidentally) nor I had a clue when the Yugoslavian authorities at Koper answered his plain language request for free pratique (Tilapa, 1972). However I now do have a couple of copies in different date and national editions.

(This isolation could easily have caused me to code 17 last night. I must be more careful. More than one bottle of port makes one a bit covid-19ish in the AM. Not to mention falling down stairish).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6170  
Old 28th March 2020, 22:30
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ah yes the dreaded Vino Collapso gets us all in the end Mr Varley. Mind you, if you stick to the better vintages its not so bad.
It just so happens I have a few bottles of very rare vintage Port left if you would care for one later. some half decent cigars too if memory serves me right
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  #6171  
Old 29th March 2020, 12:35
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some half decent cigars too if memory serves me right
Your memory does not serve you well. You know in your heart of hearts that The Hon V does not do "Half Decent", are you proposing he puffs on a King Edward? Surely not.
There are others on this Fine Lady who would smoke a Woodbine if it was rolled on the thigh of a nubile Cuban woman, but not V, he is made of sterner stuff. Get a couple of Montecristo No 2's in the Bond.
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  #6172  
Old 29th March 2020, 13:21
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R&J Petit Royale or Partagas D No.6 for preference. I did know two people that thought King Eddie's were good. I have told Higgins to admit them only through the tradesman's entrance.

I do appreciate a vintage from our oldest ally however I really prefer it aged in wood so keep the expensive stuff for yourself and leave me the Tawny.

It is rightfully said that a dedicated alcoholic drinks cheap port and expensive brandy (poteen only in Hibernian coffee or when the fire is difficult to light).
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #6173  
Old 29th March 2020, 18:15
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I feel it is a shame that small tobacconists shops have disappeared from the streets. The little trays of different tobaccos were as redolent of history as the shipping forecast. You could call into a shop like this and buy a really cheap pipe to smoke tea in. The worst think I ever smoked was a twig of elder drilled down the middle, the rim dipped in oil and lit. Why do we regard such things as being the good old days?
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  #6174  
Old 29th March 2020, 19:14
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Park Drive, Woodbine and Cadets staple smoking requisite for H&W crew.

Question... how can you tell if a Bosun (insert trade as required) is well hung ?

Answer... You can't get your fingers between the noose and his neck.
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #6175  
Old 29th March 2020, 23:07
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post
Park Drive, Woodbine and Cadets staple smoking requisite for H&W crew.

Question... how can you tell if a Bosun (insert trade as required) is well hung ?

Answer... You can't get your fingers between the noose and his neck.


ha ha I like that!
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