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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #51  
Old 22nd April 2017, 11:21
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And did you look good in coconuts and grass skirt?
Not half as good as I imagined she would have out of them ................
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Old 22nd April 2017, 12:14
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Grass skirts! ah yes locusts and Goats soon make them shorter.
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  #53  
Old 22nd April 2017, 14:25
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Remember what happened to the crew of the Bounty when they went there. However I would be more than happy to be able to go ashore with a Titanium credit card. Happy days.
I wiah I could remember what happened to the crew of the Bounty, regrettably I can only remember the boring things that have happened to me. First thing in every port, go measure the specific gravity.
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  #54  
Old 22nd April 2017, 18:55
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I would not attempt any access to Tmacs interstices without some trepidation.
meddling with a man's interstices?
I may have been a first aid trainer but I'm not that qualified.

I know my place.
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  #55  
Old 22nd April 2017, 18:58
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Destination for the "special" cargo is Taipei, Taiwan. Pay is in American dollars. Hopefully by the time we get there the Yankee Dollar will still be worth something?
How's the Rouble at the moment? There are some quite 'friendly' folk up in Petropavlosk if we ever go that way.
And Bunkers is cheap up there too - I don't know how they do it.
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  #56  
Old 22nd April 2017, 21:30
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Permission to join the ship Sir?

Having read through the thread, I think I may be of some use on your perilous adventure. I don't have a lot of experience on large vessels, whether they be monohulls or catamarans, but I do have lots of experience on small vessels and how to keep them afloat on the foaming deep. I've also done some sailing in my time, and although I have full confidence in Chief Engineer TMac mastering the intricacies of his modern mechanical marvels, it may be prudent to have someone aboard who can rig a few rags here and there in the rigging if we ever come to a sudden shuddering heave to in the middle of the ocean. For example, if we happen to be running downwind when the mechanical elastic bands break, I could jury rig a couple of spinnakers from the foremast to keep us moving, that is if Red-17 could loan me the top half of a bikini. After all, it is vitally important that we make landfall before the bars close. I could also help maintain the rigging, as I have spliced a few Mainbraces in my time, and I used to be reasonably skilful with fancy rope work like Turk's Heads and Monkey fists and all that stuff. Also, if we ever fetch up in the Channel and we need to go round Start Point, you will need someone to stop us scraping the barnacles off on the Skerries Bank.
Oh, and I'm sure the ship's football team will be OK too, with all these West Ham United supporters on board, 'cos we know how football should be played. (Not that we've won very much in our long history.)
Yep, I'm a Hammers fan too, and have stood on the old North Bank at the Boleyn Ground.
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  #57  
Old 22nd April 2017, 22:44
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Yep, I'm a Hammers fan too, and have stood on the old North Bank at the Boleyn Ground.
I thought we had agreed to not mention Religion?

It sounds like you have some useful skills, the Monkey's Paw bit scares me, those little fellahs don't let go, and they will grab for anything that dangles.
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  #58  
Old 22nd April 2017, 23:16
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[QUOTE=Dartskipper;714]Permission to join the ship Sir?

I've also done some sailing in my time, and although I have full confidence in Chief Engineer TMac mastering the intricacies of his modern mechanical marvels, it may be prudent to have someone aboard who can rig a few rags here and there in the rigging if we ever come to a sudden shuddering heave to in the middle of the ocean. For example, if we happen to be running downwind when the mechanical elastic bands break, I could jury rig a couple of spinnakers from the foremast to keep us moving, that is if Red-17 could loan me the top half of a bikini.

Welcome aboard Dartskipper, You have every right to have full confidence in Tmac, he can master the intricacies of many things, not just the mechanical marvel thingies??? I would gladly lend you the top half of my bikini Dartskipper but I fear you would have a lot of trouble generating enough wind power from them. Why is it that everyone seems interested in using the top half of my bikini for one thing or another?
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  #59  
Old 22nd April 2017, 23:18
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Grass skirts! ah yes locusts and Goats soon make them shorter.
And how might you know that billyboy? Dare I ask.
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  #60  
Old 22nd April 2017, 23:21
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I wiah I could remember what happened to the crew of the Bounty, regrettably I can only remember the boring things that have happened to me. First thing in every port, go measure the specific gravity.
Oh dear! Think you need a history lesson Farmer John. Just keep drinking plenty of water, that should help with your SG.

It is so nice to be back on board.
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  #61  
Old 22nd April 2017, 23:25
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You could but it would be the very last thing you see anyhoo all the gear has been transferred to the new ship so only an empty space remains.... I might be daft but I'm not stupid
Tmac, if we are now going to have two funnels on the GD does that mean you will have two funnel suites??
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  #62  
Old 22nd April 2017, 23:32
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Permission to join the ship Sir?

Having read through the thread, I think I may be of some use on your perilous adventure. I don't have a lot of experience on large vessels, whether they be monohulls or catamarans, but I do have lots of experience on small vessels and how to keep them afloat on the foaming deep. I've also done some sailing in my time, and although I have full confidence in Chief Engineer TMac mastering the intricacies of his modern mechanical marvels, it may be prudent to have someone aboard who can rig a few rags here and there in the rigging if we ever come to a sudden shuddering heave to in the middle of the ocean. For example, if we happen to be running downwind when the mechanical elastic bands break, I could jury rig a couple of spinnakers from the foremast to keep us moving, that is if Red-17 could loan me the top half of a bikini. After all, it is vitally important that we make landfall before the bars close. I could also help maintain the rigging, as I have spliced a few Mainbraces in my time, and I used to be reasonably skilful with fancy rope work like Turk's Heads and Monkey fists and all that stuff. Also, if we ever fetch up in the Channel and we need to go round Start Point, you will need someone to stop us scraping the barnacles off on the Skerries Bank.
Oh, and I'm sure the ship's football team will be OK too, with all these West Ham United supporters on board, 'cos we know how football should be played. (Not that we've won very much in our long history.)
Yep, I'm a Hammers fan too, and have stood on the old North Bank at the Boleyn Ground.
Nice one Dartskipper. you can be 2nd mate for starters. (promotion is very quick aboard here) with all the power we have down below plus thrusters fore and aft she handles like a dream. COYi
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  #63  
Old 22nd April 2017, 23:37
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And how might you know that billyboy? Dare I ask.
we have been sailing the 7 seas for so long Red-17. cant help but learn a few things along the way.
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  #64  
Old 22nd April 2017, 23:39
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Hi to Pats our lady boatswain. are you back aboard. Red-17 is deck supervisor pro temp. sure she will glad of female company.
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  #65  
Old 22nd April 2017, 23:42
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we have been sailing the 7 seas for so long Red-17. cant help but learn a few things along the way.
Should have known, not much get's past you billyboy.
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  #66  
Old 22nd April 2017, 23:46
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I have CCTV cameras everywhere on this ship. nothing gets passed me.
pop into my suite for a drink after your watch and I'll show you how things work aboard. As deck supervisor it will be useful for you to know.
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Old 22nd April 2017, 23:47
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[QUOTE=Red-17;720]
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Permission to join the ship Sir?

I've also done some sailing in my time, and although I have full confidence in Chief Engineer TMac mastering the intricacies of his modern mechanical marvels, it may be prudent to have someone aboard who can rig a few rags here and there in the rigging if we ever come to a sudden shuddering heave to in the middle of the ocean. For example, if we happen to be running downwind when the mechanical elastic bands break, I could jury rig a couple of spinnakers from the foremast to keep us moving, that is if Red-17 could loan me the top half of a bikini.

Welcome aboard Dartskipper, You have every right to have full confidence in Tmac, he can master the intricacies of many things, not just the mechanical marvel thingies??? I would gladly lend you the top half of my bikini Dartskipper but I fear you would have a lot of trouble generating enough wind power from them. Why is it that everyone seems interested in using the top half of my bikini for one thing or another?
When I was sailing in the Bahamas, somebody mentioned Bikini Atoll. I asked him why it was called by that name, and he said because they don't wear any bikinis at all.

Anyway, give a sailmaker any old bits of cloth, some thread and a needle, and you would be surprised at what he can stitch up in short order. (Including the deckie learner dumb enough to buy it from him.)
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  #68  
Old 22nd April 2017, 23:57
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Nice one Dartskipper. you can be 2nd mate for starters. (promotion is very quick aboard here) with all the power we have down below plus thrusters fore and aft she handles like a dream. COYi
Aye Aye Cap'n. I'll just go and find some old braid to sew on my sleeves. I think there's some old stuff in my ditty bag from one of my Grannie's old chintz curtains.

We didn't use thrusters in my last boat. I used to get the deckhand to push on the handrail near the bow if I wanted to go sideways.....
Mind you, that boat handled like a nightmare. If you went from full ahead to full astern, the control lever would come away in your hand,and the rudder would go hard over making the wheel spin really fast and whack you in the shins.
I hope our Chief has everything tight as a drum down below.
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  #69  
Old 23rd April 2017, 00:27
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Is my old position still available, Sir William, Sir. Not the missionary position.
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  #70  
Old 23rd April 2017, 07:42
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Nice one Dartskipper. you can be 2nd mate for starters. (promotion is very quick aboard here) with all the power we have down below plus thrusters fore and aft she handles like a dream. COYi
I'm confused, (no comments please). Who is in charge of this vessel? Is it Sir William, billy boy or Capt. Tom. You know what they say, 'to many cooks spoil the broth'. I know that Sir William and billyboy have a split personality thing going on, but all I want to really know is Who's Responsible?

When you work it out, might I suggest, now that Pat, (hello Pat), is back that you won't need two deck supervisors. I would be happy to look after the garden area and when Farmer John is away I can look after the feral animals. If Pat needs a hand with anything or is on shore leave I can pitch in and help. How does that sound Skipper, Skipper, Skipper ?

Question: Isn't Dartskipper a butterfly?
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Old 23rd April 2017, 07:43
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Hello Pats. w2e are all very happy to have you back aboard. Yes you are still our Lady Bosun. Meet another Lady, Red-17. she is deck supervisor pending promotion. sure she will be happy you are here too. i think she was getting a little worried with all us red blooded men around ha ha.

Tannoy: now here this!.. Our lady Bosun has returned. So, no pinching stuff from the Bosuns store.
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Old 23rd April 2017, 07:44
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Eh?? Missionary??...we got a Padre aboard??...LOL
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Old 23rd April 2017, 08:39
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Permission to join the ship Sir?

Having read through the thread, I think I may be of some use on your perilous adventure. I don't have a lot of experience on large vessels, whether they be monohulls or catamarans, but I do have lots of experience on small vessels and how to keep them afloat on the foaming deep. I've also done some sailing in my time, and although I have full confidence in Chief Engineer TMac mastering the intricacies of his modern mechanical marvels, it may be prudent to have someone aboard who can rig a few rags here and there in the rigging if we ever come to a sudden shuddering heave to in the middle of the ocean. For example, if we happen to be running downwind when the mechanical elastic bands break, I could jury rig a couple of spinnakers from the foremast to keep us moving, that is if Red-17 could loan me the top half of a bikini. After all, it is vitally important that we make landfall before the bars close. I could also help maintain the rigging, as I have spliced a few Mainbraces in my time, and I used to be reasonably skilful with fancy rope work like Turk's Heads and Monkey fists and all that stuff. Also, if we ever fetch up in the Channel and we need to go round Start Point, you will need someone to stop us scraping the barnacles off on the Skerries Bank.
Oh, and I'm sure the ship's football team will be OK too, with all these West Ham United supporters on board, 'cos we know how football should be played. (Not that we've won very much in our long history.)
Yep, I'm a Hammers fan too, and have stood on the old North Bank at the Boleyn Ground.
Welcome aboard Dartskipper - we welcome your expertise, especially as this vessel beng the Golden Dreamer, has an artfully disguised complete clipper square rig complete with stuns'ls, which we do occasionally use as a fuel saving device. We would, however, never, ever suggest that Tmac's injuns would not be available on demand. (He gets in a right proper snit and gets pretty handy with his drifter) The best way to stay on his good side is to provide him a constant supply of Black Bush -- partly supplied now by a full header tank on the Monkey Island which he can access with his own shut off cock. We used to pour it down the voice pipe for him, but that wasn't so precise a method.
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  #74  
Old 23rd April 2017, 08:40
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I have found the crew bar but where's the stock?
Doesn't anyone do stock control? Yes I know, you just drink it and let someone else worry about the trivialities.
Well, as luck would have it there is one of those floating blocks of flats not far away. With the Captain's permission I will take a boat and see what I can scrounge - They must have loads on there and I am quite sure that they would be happy to help another vessel in distress.

If I get caught I might be gone for a couple of weeks.
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Old 23rd April 2017, 08:48
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I'm confused, (no comments please). Who is in charge of this vessel? Is it Sir William, billy boy or Capt. Tom. You know what they say, 'to many cooks spoil the broth'. I know that Sir William and billyboy have a split personality thing going on, but all I want to really know is Who's Responsible?
I think there is a consensus that nobody, but nobody is responsible on this vessel. (Other than some ports we visit have irate fathers, shotguns in hand, with their gravid daughters seem to think that there is someone aboard who is responsible!)

Bit like a pirate ship in a way -- the crew have the say in the general running of the ship (responsibilities include attending all parties) Sir William and I generally confer with an agent somewhere to generate funds, but anyone can have input in that direction. Just like a pirate ship the entire crew benefits from loot which enables us all to continue in this mad cap voyage through our dotage.
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