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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #5526  
Old 17th September 2019, 05:34
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Difference between a lady in the bath and a lady in Church?

The one in Church has a soul full of hope.
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  #5527  
Old 17th September 2019, 07:21
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Billyboy's ladies appear to have a **** full of soap whilst Tmac's have a **** full of rope. In addition T's are rumoured to have a lifebuoy c/w self activating safety light.
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  #5528  
Old 17th September 2019, 07:25
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Dear Administrator, Please delete #5527 because it is far too smutty and erroneously indicates Tmac mixes with the wrong sort. Many thanks.
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  #5529  
Old 17th September 2019, 09:59
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just looked at that TV thingy on the bridge. we appear to have a large yellow mass off our right hand side Tom. That other thing with the line going round like a clock hand is making funny beeping noises too. best you check it out while i whistle us up another bottle of Four Bells eh!
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  #5530  
Old 17th September 2019, 11:04
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Fool, it is a tv. The yellow mass is Boris and the thing with the line going round like a clock hand is his hied birriling around with all the crap he has spouted over the past month. A radar picture would be like a breath of fresh air.
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  #5531  
Old 17th September 2019, 11:11
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That's the thing that tells us what we are going to hit isn't it? I have never believed it can be that accurate (beam width, aspect of target, bloody minded electronics etc.) would this be a good time for us to check my theory? I reckon we're going to hit the little dot to the right, left …….. right, left ..... of the clockey-going-round thingy and not the big bugger with the flashing triangle on it (Roadworks?).
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  #5532  
Old 17th September 2019, 17:07
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erroneously indicates Tmac mixes with the wrong sort. Many thanks.
I took it as a compliment
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  #5533  
Old 17th September 2019, 17:09
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anybody on the bridge call for flank speed?.... we going somewhere or just making our presence felt?
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I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #5534  
Old 17th September 2019, 17:20
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Proceed to the Bar with all dispatch.
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  #5535  
Old 17th September 2019, 17:25
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I took it as a compliment
Jeez Tmac I always misunderestimate you. You always turn the other cheek, but that's a boarding school education for you. Varley could have done with some of that discipline, make a man of him, so it would.
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  #5536  
Old 17th September 2019, 19:39
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Is that a message from the agents or are you just thirsty? Again?

If I got you the wool would you make a template for me? Don't think for a moment that we properly schooled types didn't know what it was like to feel a man! (Have I got that right, grammar never was a strong point, all the cold showers).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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  #5537  
Old 18th September 2019, 07:08
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just looked at that TV thingy on the bridge. we appear to have a large yellow mass off our right hand side Tom. That other thing with the line going round like a clock hand is making funny beeping noises too. best you check it out while i whistle us up another bottle of Four Bells eh!
The TV thingy is the door on the microwave and the big yellow mass you saw was some left over fried chicken on the turntable warming up while I nipped to the head to shake hands with the unemployed.

The line going round like a clock hand is the timer indicator on the coffee pot -- the beeping letting us know that it has finished brewing.

Perfect timing then for the Four Bells. The only remaining question is whether you would prefer cream in your fortified coffee, or do you prefer it black?
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  #5538  
Old 18th September 2019, 07:10
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anybody on the bridge call for flank speed?.... we going somewhere or just making our presence felt?
That's Sir William for you -- here we are halfway across the Bay of Biscay and he thinks the water is calm enough to go water skiing.
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  #5539  
Old 18th September 2019, 09:22
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The TV thingy is the door on the microwave and the big yellow mass you saw was some left over fried chicken on the turntable warming up while I nipped to the head to shake hands with the unemployed.

The line going round like a clock hand is the timer indicator on the coffee pot -- the beeping letting us know that it has finished brewing.

Perfect timing then for the Four Bells. The only remaining question is whether you would prefer cream in your fortified coffee, or do you prefer it black?
Black for me Tom, NO Sugar please.
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  #5540  
Old 18th September 2019, 09:49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom Alexander View Post
The TV thingy is the door on the microwave and the big yellow mass you saw was some left over fried chicken on the turntable warming up while I nipped to the head to shake hands with the unemployed.

The line going round like a clock hand is the timer indicator on the coffee pot -- the beeping letting us know that it has finished brewing.

Perfect timing then for the Four Bells. The only remaining question is whether you would prefer cream in your fortified coffee, or do you prefer it black?
Never mind the coffee - just the fortification will do, please. (Actually I don't drink but I am sure that I could barter the fortification for some decent coffee.)!

Last edited by YM-Mundrabilla; 18th September 2019 at 10:37.
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  #5541  
Old 18th September 2019, 09:53
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Found this at Victoria Dock today and wondered if it had been lost overboard or stolen from the Golden Dreamer on her/his/its/(whatever) recent visit to Melbourne.
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  #5542  
Old 18th September 2019, 11:44
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I told you. The little dot disappeared from the Permanently Perplexing line-going-round thing at the same time as the percolator perked. Black for me too, hope you washed your hands.

Those are very funny shaped survival craft, more like rescue jacuzzi. I do like the cocktail table. Do you suppose the small dot's crowd would mind us keeping one if we picked them up? The flashing triangle stopped now so I suppose we have a chance at the big bugger.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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  #5543  
Old 18th September 2019, 12:25
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Found this at Victoria Dock today and wondered if it had been lost overboard or stolen from the Golden Dreamer on her/his/its/(whatever) recent visit to Melbourne.
Looks like my Jacuzzi.
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  #5544  
Old 18th September 2019, 17:48
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It is our portable floating Roulette table, it pays for at least 50% of our stores.
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  #5545  
Old 18th September 2019, 23:34
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I rest my case Tom.

Did you ask Tmac for more revs again?
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  #5546  
Old 19th September 2019, 07:08
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Black for me Tom, NO Sugar please.
Your wish is my command !! The rest of you line up behind Sir William and I will ensure the barista will serve exactly what you want. (Coffee that is !)
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  #5547  
Old 19th September 2019, 10:56
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Behind Sir W? Wasn't curry on the me-and-you last night was there?
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5548  
Old 19th September 2019, 12:04
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Tom's "Barista" looked awfully like Cedric the Nice steward from Birkenhead. He can draw lovely designs on the froth with the nail on his pinkie.
Bugger off Varley, you know what a Pinkie is.
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  #5549  
Old 19th September 2019, 17:06
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I do indeed. But I've never seen one with a nail. More Albert the Good than Cedric the Nice by the sound of it.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5550  
Old 19th September 2019, 19:36
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Cedric is more Bohemian than Saxe-Coburg, as many Birkenheaders are. Cedric, being a stalwart NUS man, grows the nails on his pinkeys only for scratching his bottom and picking his nose as he believes it annoys the Smokeroom lounge lizards.
As if.
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