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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #5251  
Old 10th July 2019, 10:10
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Might the Algebra suggest that the imported rum suffers a lack of similarity in volume or Proof to that of the hooch?

(The introduction of the Aldi constant might also tell us something of the import method. Here, 6 bottles or more of fizz is 'delivery included' - no shortages have as yet been detected in volume or Proof, after several academic exercises in the gathering of the required data).

Perhaps Aldi would do bunkers?
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  #5252  
Old 10th July 2019, 11:20
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The Pinot Noir has a Cetane Value of 48. The main engine can run on it but the Chief can't. Bunker 600 tonnes and get a free Ottoman to keep your dirty boiler suits, or dungareens. We don't go a bomb on fizz, it gasses up the fuel pumps something terrible and causes Tmac to run around the top plates like a half-wit. Puts one off ones breakfast.
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  #5253  
Old 10th July 2019, 14:28
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[QUOTE=Engine Serang;23908]4 cases of white rum (WR) = 3 goats (3G)

3 cases of local rum (LR) = 3 goats (3G)


By a mathematicchal process known as calcullas or trigonometry we can prove;

4 WR = 3 LR

Unless you shop in Aldi.

And on that bombshell i'll head off to meet Capt Morgan.

Obviously an Injuneer wot understand liquefaction or how many pints you can get to the gallon
We don't have Aldi in Norn Iron would Lidl do instead
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  #5254  
Old 10th July 2019, 14:34
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. We don't go a bomb on fizz, it gasses up the fuel pumps something terrible and causes Tmac to run around the top plates like a half-wit. Puts one off ones breakfast.
I note your vocabulary is improving since I bought you that book on "How 'til spake Ulster" your vernacular is beyond recognition as previously you referred to me as F**k-wit, outwith my hearing of course

Speaking of breakfast one still dispairs at your habit of putting Guinness on your cornflakes
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  #5255  
Old 10th July 2019, 15:07
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I think it is important to consider that rum obtained from a numerically named two dimensional cutout from a ship with no real history, just back from a trip to Somewhere Clandestine may not be equivalent to rum obtained from a purveyor and purchaser of goats and other animals (for personal use only, not guaranteed of Comestible Quality).

I know that Cutouts No4's rum was good, I had just bottled it myself after relieving it's alchoholic head ache with a well earned drink of water. The rum he obtained by trade and sold to me for 3 bars of soap and two packs of cards has been used to remove varnish from the Teak fitments round the main deck. It came in a large carboy labelled "Ronsons".

Mathematics is not always as easy as it seems.
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  #5256  
Old 10th July 2019, 15:56
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Are you sure that was not Glen Ronsons or MacRonsonsmorange. I cannot imagine what anyone would do else with that Scottish stuff than remove varnish. It is certainly no good for 'Irish' coffee or for hosing down goats.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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It is the duty of the wealthy man
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  #5257  
Old 10th July 2019, 16:49
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Mathematics is not always as easy as it seems.
Long division can be a bit of a showstopper and the decimal point is little help to the beginner. Once one has mastered Newtons 4 laws of motion the beauty of sums falls into place and getting change from a ten shilling note no longer holds a chap in dread of miscalculation.

Isn't a bit of edumacation a grand thing.
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  #5258  
Old 10th July 2019, 17:12
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F o u r ?
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5259  
Old 10th July 2019, 17:17
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Newton's fourth law?

Every post that contains support for positive (remoaning poor) Brexit will be followed by one defending negative (remoaning rich) Brexit.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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It is the duty of the wealthy man
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  #5260  
Old 11th July 2019, 07:30
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Possible hurricane forming in the Gulf of Mexico. Should we perhaps take a lazy cruise over to the Canaries while we cogitate on our next venture? Oh! Wait a minute -- chap by the name of Rasputin, chum of the "Donald" wants passage in complete secrecy to St. Petersburg. Has a suitcase full of pieces of eight with which to pay his passage. Will be dressed as a spy so no one will notice him. Russians always did have a bit of flare for the dramatic ??
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  #5261  
Old 11th July 2019, 08:01
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Newton's fourth law?

.
Newtons 4th Law: No matter how much you shake your willie the last drops always run down your leg.
As you approach the pension the 4th Law becomes the dominant law in your life.
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  #5262  
Old 11th July 2019, 09:46
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If Rasputin was a real spy his name would be Schmidt.
Are we sure that he is not CIA or FBI?
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  #5263  
Old 11th July 2019, 11:10
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Newtons 4th Law: No matter how much you shake your willie the last drops always run down your leg.
As you approach the pension the 4th Law becomes the dominant law in your life.
No wonder you have a problem. That is one of Avogadro's (and it last beyond pension day I can assure you!).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5264  
Old 11th July 2019, 11:13
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Not a Cambridge spy I hope. There won't be a plastico fit to work breakfasts.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan

Last edited by Varley; 11th July 2019 at 16:59.
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  #5265  
Old 11th July 2019, 14:45
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No need for plasticos if you would have a nice bowl of roughage for brekky instead of the Full Mona.
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  #5266  
Old 11th July 2019, 17:07
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I rarely have a proper breakfast. Mug coffee. Crap. Muesli with added bran and skimmed milk. Pills (NOT Pils!) followed by a bacteria enriched probiotic light Yakult and then half a melon. Second coffee. On those rare occasions where the 'big' breakfast is done I still follow this formula earlier.

It's all downhill for the day after the bowel-grip has been downed. Unless it hasn't worked.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5267  
Old 11th July 2019, 17:53
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An extra greasy Ulster Fry is what you need. Maybe you'll even get round to testing the lawn mower wot I fixed

Shipyard breakfast = 4 raw eggs, 1 large tot of Brandy in half a glass of cold milk then down it in one
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  #5268  
Old 12th July 2019, 00:37
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Come on. That's no Hibernian dejeuner. Not a potato mentioned.


If the mower can't manage the croquet lawn then I'll be round with some jollop. You're obviously egg bounds.

(I didn't know Jeeves 'did' for H&W plumbers, you'll be telling us next Mr. Wooster's Great Aunt Augusta did knocking up).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5269  
Old 12th July 2019, 03:07
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Full English for me please, Unless I am at home then its fruits followed by either corn flakes or porridge oats washed down with coffee. (only gets me an English when I go to Davao city which is rare) Ease the bowel load and clean teeth (dentures) and I am set for the day.
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  #5270  
Old 12th July 2019, 06:03
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Orange Juice for everybody this morning. The Tropicana Locker was topped up overnight by the light of the dying embers of our wonderful bonfire on the Bridge Wing. TA will be a bit pissed-Off with the state of his teak decking, no amount of holystoning will remediate the devastation caused.
Mr Varleys Aunt Agatha would not be in favour of the shipyard breakfast but his Aunt Dahlia can down a brandy and raw egg with the best of them. I well remember back in '93 when she shared a social drink with H&W Welders football team, only herself and the goalkeeper were left standing when the Harbour Police raided the canteen the following lunchtime. Boots ran out of Solpadine. T, who was a tasty striker, was on I/V junior asprin for a week to get his vitals working again.

Last edited by Engine Serang; 12th July 2019 at 06:06. Reason: Too much blather.
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  #5271  
Old 12th July 2019, 10:19
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Wasn't that when she was 98? At 93 she was still living on an Antipode (usually playing hooker at weekends and regularly facing the Hakka). A Great aunt indeed.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5272  
Old 12th July 2019, 13:00
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How she earned a crust is of no importance but obviously, as you say, she was a sporting sort.
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  #5273  
Old 12th July 2019, 15:38
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Well so much for the big parade today Got the Lambeg out of storage only to find Squeek had eaten a hole in the skin

The miscreant is now confined to the control room nursing a broken tail and giving me baleful looks as he knows worse is to come

Anybody know how to whittle a flute?
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Oul scabby knuckles

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Anything God didn't create was made by engineers.

I try so hard to make things idiot proof but they keep making better idiots
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  #5274  
Old 12th July 2019, 16:41
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Well so much for the big parade today Got the Lambeg out of storage only to find Squeek had eaten a hole in the skin

The miscreant is now confined to the control room nursing a broken tail and giving me baleful looks as he knows worse is to come

Anybody know how to whittle a flute?
I believe one can be easily made from the thigh bone of a small animal, perhaps a large rodent.

ES, you will find sleeping in future difficult, all wood of any description has been removed from your accommodation and will be used to repair your wanton vandalism to our wonderful vessel the Golden Dreamer. Any remaining vestiges of comfort have been dismantled and crafted into a set of stocks mounted on the bitts at the bows, where you will be confined until you shout "UNCLE".

Not a harsh punishment, merely a just one.
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  #5275  
Old 12th July 2019, 21:27
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Anybody know how to whittle a flute?
NO.

But I know a man who can tootle a flute.

He is in my cabin, Stateroom, with his feet in a basin of Radox, Henessee Tennessee suffers from ingrown kneecaps.
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