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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #5276  
Old 12th July 2019, 21:36
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ES, you will find sleeping in future difficult, all wood of any description has been removed from your accommodation and will be used to repair your wanton vandalism to our wonderful vessel the Golden Dreamer.

Not a harsh punishment, merely a just one.
Barstards, every bit of wood has been taken from my Stateroom. Barstards even took the Wormwood from my hidden bottle of Absinthe. Both the Grande and Petite Wormwood. No little nighty-night for ES tonight. Pity the bonfire didn't burn the bridge front wood cladding, would break FJ's heart, if he has one.
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  #5277  
Old 14th July 2019, 15:00
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I do have a heart, you nearly broke it when you gave more importance to your own amusement than to the GD.

What is your Father's brother?
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  #5278  
Old 14th July 2019, 15:41
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I know I told you I could repair that high energy ignitor pack but then E-S welded my workshop door shut. Don't those beautifully seasoned teak wands smell lovely when trying to light off using them. I see the third is having a go with for the boiler too.
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  #5279  
Old 15th July 2019, 18:00
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Et tu, Varley?

The GD is our home and our pride, also our transport and our refuge. Don't burn bits of it.
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  #5280  
Old 15th July 2019, 20:14
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I'm beginning to think that somebody, not of the deck department, thought it would be a spiffing wheeze to burn off the many coats of meticulously applied marine varnish with a gas axe. Much faster than hand applied abrasive materials I will admit, but speed is not always a virtue.

As the actress said to the telegraph boy.
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  #5281  
Old 15th July 2019, 22:52
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What a spiffing name for the Sparks, "The Telegraph Boy". Demeaning but not actually abusive.
You should Post more often, DS.
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  #5282  
Old 16th July 2019, 00:51
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"Not of the deck department" - some sort of rock dodger, unspecific put-down?

E-S, use that when you want to 'phone home and spifflicating will be nearer the mark.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5283  
Old 16th July 2019, 10:59
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Are you talking of the good-ole-days when Sparkey would persevere on the VHF trying to raise some godawful coast station and plead to be patched in to Portishead or Portpatrick or Wick, yes Wick wherever the hell that is, to connect to British Telecom or was it the GPO. Happy days, and expensive days.
BTW are you still flogging Vernons Pools?
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  #5284  
Old 16th July 2019, 11:38
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Were that the way I done it you'd've been entitled to your Gold Franc back.

I have never cheated at the pools!
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5285  
Old 16th July 2019, 19:57
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"Not of the deck department" - some sort of rock dodger, unspecific put-down?

E-S, use that when you want to 'phone home and spifflicating will be nearer the mark.
Each department has its own traditions and long established practices. Sadly in these more collaborative and democratic times, the differences have become somewhat amalgamated. F'rinstance, in my Dad's days at sea as an apprentice in 1938, he was quietly informed by the Mate that oil and water never mix, and he shouldn't fraternise with the engine room personnel. When I got to mess about in small passenger craft in the 1970's I was Master and Engineer. When on deck, I was the deck crowd. When down the hatch, I was chief grease monkey. I tried to keep the two activities apart, but I'm afraid it may have started the mild schizophrenia.

Ask the Admiral, he will know.
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  #5286  
Old 16th July 2019, 23:00
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Navigation and Screaming Jimmies should never be mixed I was told.....LOL
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  #5287  
Old 17th July 2019, 07:58
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Navigation and Screaming Jimmies should never be mixed I was told.....LOL

LOL

LOL 243 Star of Broughshane.
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  #5288  
Old 17th July 2019, 12:37
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LOL

LOL 243 Star of Broughshane.
Your first lodge I presume.

Not a patch on the Rising Sons of Ahoghill

If you aren't from Norn Iron pronouncing Ahoghill should prove challenging
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  #5289  
Old 17th July 2019, 14:31
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Trying to find it can also be challenging. I once set sail for Ahoghill and ended up in Cullybackey; Tom-Tom, Garmin, Ecdis or Sextant was of little use. A detour on the canal via Moneyglass helped pick up a lane on the Decca Navigator and all was well.
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  #5290  
Old 17th July 2019, 17:21
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Navigation and Screaming Jimmies should never be mixed I was told.....LOL
Sir William, both the Navigation and the Screaming Jimmies are mixed, just inter and not between.

Can anyone tell me when we docked in Belfast? Our occupant of the stocks seems to be going a little homesick and his maunderings are spreading through even the best of our crew.

Sir William, any little messages you would like us to run? Preferably easy to fulfill and very lucrative.
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  #5291  
Old 17th July 2019, 19:12
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Trying to find it can also be challenging. I once set sail for Ahoghill and ended up in Cullybackey; Tom-Tom, Garmin, Ecdis or Sextant was of little use. A detour on the canal via Moneyglass helped pick up a lane on the Decca Navigator and all was well.
Two Brixham trawler skippers were overheard arguing on VHF. One was convinced he had right of way over the other because he was following a green line on the Decca chart, and the other was on a red line. (As told to me by Bob Ould, trawler owner of Torquay.)

Navigation isn't always what it is assumed to be.
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  #5292  
Old 17th July 2019, 23:27
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Your first lodge I presume.

Not a patch on the Rising Sons of Ahoghill

If you aren't from Norn Iron pronouncing Ahoghill should prove challenging
It is not the geography but the physiology. It is, probably, easy to enunciate when the uvula has been bathed in potato spirit since childhood. Whether therapeutically recommended or otherwise. In the same way as Featherstonhaugh rolls effortless from the tongue if you are from Cholmondeley
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5293  
Old 18th July 2019, 07:31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmer John View Post
Sir William, both the Navigation and the Screaming Jimmies are mixed, just inter and not between.

Can anyone tell me when we docked in Belfast? Our occupant of the stocks seems to be going a little homesick and his maunderings are spreading through even the best of our crew.

Sir William, any little messages you would like us to run? Preferably easy to fulfill and very lucrative.
Have a word with Tom FJ. He has a direct sat phone line with the agent now. Any jobs for us then Tom will be the first to know.
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  #5294  
Old 18th July 2019, 08:38
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It is, probably, easy to enunciate when the uvula has been bathed in potato spirit
The ladies will not be pleased with their private parts being mentioned in plain language, Varley should be sent to his cabin directly after supper. A few days of this treatment will remind him of what Nanny told him about Gentlemen and Manners.
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  #5295  
Old 18th July 2019, 10:03
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The ladies will not be pleased with their private parts being mentioned in plain language, Varley should be sent to his cabin directly after supper. A few days of this treatment will remind him of what Nanny told him about Gentlemen and Manners.
Aye I agree...whatever he said

Anyhoo what's a lady with a Volvo got to do with it?
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  #5296  
Old 18th July 2019, 10:59
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Nanny (the late Miss Eva Goring) would have been horrified to think that Master David would have then been thinking of lip-uvula clearance (or beyond even) and Torricelli. And no more was he.

However the little beast might, even than, have known that it was an above the belt thing and not to do with 'down there' as E-S implies.

Why is did FJ have to shout at Sir William to get an answer, has the willie-screaming done for his hearing aid?
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It stuck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #5297  
Old 18th July 2019, 17:11
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Any one expecting a man called Denis driving a red Volvo? He is waiting on the quay.

Call for Denis in a Volvo.

My hearing is fine, I am not the shouter, I am the shoutee.
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Last edited by Farmer John; 18th July 2019 at 17:13.
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  #5298  
Old Today, 07:13
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Denise with a red vulva??? thats no good Tmac prefers black bushes
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  #5299  
Old Today, 11:52
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Shirley has had a 2 year break, is this a record?
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  #5300  
Old Today, 12:04
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Shirley Knott?
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