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Humour the best of medicine

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  #426  
Old 11th November 2019, 23:11
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Personally I'd stick with 'Rex,' (as in Tyrannosaurus.)
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  #427  
Old 30th November 2019, 15:46
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A loud pounding on the front door awakened a man and his wife at 3:00 am. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," replies the husband. "It is three in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that ?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him ?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it's three in the morning and it's bloody pouring rain out there !"
"Well you have a short memory," says the wife. "Can't you remember about a month ago when our car broke down, and those two guys helped us ? I think you should go and help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself."
Feeling guilty the man gets up to do as she says and goes outside into the pounding rain. He calls out in the dark: "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes, " comes a reply.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes please," comes a reply from the dark.
"Where are you ?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
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  #428  
Old 31st January 2020, 14:01
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Ahhh the wonders of technology .
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  #429  
Old 31st January 2020, 15:08
Engine Serang Europe Engine Serang is offline
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Is Alexa dolphin friendly?
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  #430  
Old 9th February 2020, 15:04
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"Life is not the way it's supposed to be - it's the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference."
After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Marine Corps fighter pilot finally regained consciousness. He was in a hospital, in a lot of pain.
He found himself in the ICU with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him, looking worried. It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.
The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes. Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but a Marine, she spoke to him softly and slowly, enunciating each word: "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your boobs, then?"
And that, my friends, is a real positive attitude.
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  #431  
Old 10th February 2020, 11:55
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Now I'm a believer
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  #432  
Old 10th February 2020, 15:05
Engine Serang Europe Engine Serang is offline
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I don't believe it.
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  #433  
Old 10th February 2020, 15:40
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That was then, this is now.
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  #434  
Old 15th February 2020, 12:12
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I believe it's called an 'epiphany.'
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  #435  
Old 17th February 2020, 19:52
Rob Pithers Rob Pithers is offline
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Google

I don't need Google!
Our Lass knows everything,
and she is NEVER wrong!!
(If I want to wake up in the morning).
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  #436  
Old 17th February 2020, 20:54
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Does she ever say to you: "Resistance is futile."
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  #437  
Old 17th February 2020, 20:59
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It's when she starts calling you 'Dave' that you really need to worry.
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