virtual crazy gang, part II

Engine Serang · #**3376** 10th July 2018, 21:38

Dear Farmer John and Billyboy, I am putting pencil to jotter because I am becoming more and more concerned about poor Red 17.She is retreating into her shell and is quite morose at times and this is not the bubbly outgoing young lady whom you invited (apparently) on board a few idyllic months ago.
Galley scuttlebu as it that she is being harassed by a member of our crew, sexually harassed. Tis is covered in the Shipping Act and the Geneva Convention and probably Marpol. Frigging computer is deleting letter itself, bloody Toshib

Red-17 · #**3377** 10th July 2018, 23:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Sound man IJC 38,salt and beads for the natives. Did you forget the Bibles?

FFS, ES that diet Fanta is sobering you up far too quickly and making you argumentative, see Skippy, sorry Shelia, sorry Red17 and he will give you some bush medication. If you can't face wichy-grubs Quack Varley has spogged some gripe water cocktails in his shack. A proper pick-me-up and McCloggie will russle up a nice cheese omelette, 3 eggs and bugger the cholesterol.

After the recent problems we have had with ES should we really take his word that IJC 38 is a sound man? Is there anyone else who can vouch for him.

Tmac, I think I now understand why you keep to yourself below deck.

Red-17 · #**3378** 10th July 2018, 23:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

Correct FJ. The "H" is silent. (Like the "P" in bath.)

Oh Dear? You do realise Butterfly that whilst you are sleeping away I am going to be bothered for the remainder of the day trying to work that one out!

Red-17 · #**3379** 11th July 2018, 00:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Dear Farmer John and Billyboy, I am putting pencil to jotter because I am becoming more and more concerned about poor Red 17.She is retreating into her shell and is quite morose at times and this is not the bubbly outgoing young lady whom you invited (apparently) on board a few idyllic months ago.
Galley scuttlebu as it that she is being harassed by a member of our crew, sexually harassed. Tis is covered in the Shipping Act and the Geneva Convention and probably Marpol. Frigging computer is deleting letter itself, bloody Toshib

Not long after ES joined the crew of the GD11 he had me cavorting with squaddies, because 'someone else told him so', now he has me being sexually harassed, again because 'someone else told him so'. Does he not think that my change of mood might have more to do with him????? If you repeat scuttlebutt you are bound to have it come back and bite you in the, in the, agh, you know where!

Skipper, could someone please have a word with this man? I have been nice to ES and friendly, I think that he deliberately chooses to try and upset me. I have never met such a contrary Irishman, in fact I have never met ANY contrary Irishmen. I am slowly loosing the will to live, will 'No one rid me of this man?' Or at least have a quiet word with him about my search for peace and calm and goodwill among men, oh, and women. I do apologise to any newcomers for my outburst, life on board the GD is not normally like this.

billyboy · #**3380** 11th July 2018, 01:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Sound man IJC 38,salt and beads for the natives. Did you forget the Bibles?

FFS, ES that diet Fanta is sobering you up far too quickly and making you argumentative, see Skippy, sorry Shelia, sorry Red17 and he will give you some bush medication. If you can't face wichy-grubs Quack Varley has spogged some gripe water cocktails in his shack. A proper pick-me-up and McCloggie will russle up a nice cheese omelette, 3 eggs and bugger the cholesterol.

Quack Varley????
How very dare you!!...Our comunications/electical technician will not be best pleased with you calling him that.
Whilst working in close liason with Chief Tmac (thet legal?) he has helped to keep this fine ship in fair fettle.

billyboy · #**3381** 11th July 2018, 01:08

[I]Not a lot of enthusiasm lately. For those who done know. I was bitten by a kitten (wow I am a poet) the cursed animal died the next day. I have holes in both shoulders now from many jabs. I get the last dose of Anti Rabies shots on August 8th (with luck).
I am not allowed to bite anyone before then.
first time i find a pussy with teeth like needles.[/I

gray_marian · #**3382** 11th July 2018, 01:20

[QUOTE=Red-17;15884]After the recent problems we have had with ES should we really take his word that IJC 38 is a sound man? Is there anyone else who can vouch for him.

Red-17, I can vouch for IJC 38, he is an absolute gentleman and quite the mover and shaker on the dance floor, has been known to associate with high society

As to your qualms re ES, 'I have never met such a contrary Irishman,' he's pussy cat compared to a fellow countryman on another site!

RobPage · #**3383** 11th July 2018, 03:55

IJC38 is a gentleman of the old school , despite the beard ,I would vouch for him 24/7/52 , and a fellow refugees from 'tother place [ not SN ]

Tom Alexander · #**3384** 11th July 2018, 06:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red-17

Oh what a lovely idea Tom. A shopping expedition and then a fine meal with a gentleman for company. It's a date. Just please do not tell anyone else or I feel sure they would do all they could to cause havoc to our day out. A '59 Caddie, WOW. I shall dress in the style of the day, ala Grace Kelly and you can pretend to be Cary Grant. We will be the talk of Havana.

Thank you Red, Let's make it this evening. Don't worry about ES -- I think he is just jealous of our refinement and appreciation of what we, anyway, consider the finer things in life.

Tom Alexander · #**3385** 11th July 2018, 06:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Gulliver's udders? I don't think I have read that one. The one about talking horses, yes.

What about mustering all hands to skylark and hornpipe, we might get up a thirst.

I don't know about Gulliver's udders, but someone asked me how many birds there were in the walk-in cooler -- I opened the door and there stood two topless blondes -- I said "There's four blue-tits in there!"

Tom Alexander · #**3386** 11th July 2018, 06:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red-17

I'm coming for you ES. It is neither Skippy OR Sheila and McGloggie has NOTHING to do with supplying of food on this vessel. What the devil are you taking?? More importantly, who is suppling you????:really mad: Bye the way, it is 'wichety', not wichy. Think we need to engage Squeek and Eric at this point in time. Tmac could we please have your approval on this as things are getting quite out of hand. Irish or not he needs to be brought under control or we are all at risk.

Don't humour him Red -- he's just winding you up!

I think i'll transfer him to the holding tank with a shovel -- he seems ideally suited for stirring the contents.

Tom Alexander · #**3387** 11th July 2018, 06:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by IJC 38

Ere ye! I wus only using dee rope, cos dee gangway was full of ye mates flaked out and I cuddna get apast them. Anyway I ad a full case of Pussers Rum under me arm for dem in charge, who ever de be, an Pussers Rum was the nearest I cud git to Pussy Rum which Ah naw you'd all prefer. Anyway Ah cudn't find anyone in charge, so I drank it, ish wash very gush

Welcome aboard IJC -- I see from your profile you are an ex-trawler man. In that regard you are now offically appointed as our lead fisherman. Your duties will be to organise three cutouts to be seconded from Mr. McCloggies deck crew to assist you in providing fresh sea food for our consumption as and when required. I suspect that as you can drink a whole case of Pusser's and talk about it the next morning, you should fit right in with our crew. Fortuneately we do have many more cases aboard, together with all sorts of other fine libations. Please join us in the PAX lounge for a welcome aboard party. We should also welcome our resident stowaway, Rob Page as he is still hanging around. (Memo to self - got to find something for him to do as well!) Tmac, you might as well join us as we have just had a fresh supply of Black Bush flown in for your personal consumption.

Tom Alexander · #**3388** 11th July 2018, 07:16

[QUOTE=gray_marian;15890]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red-17

After the recent problems we have had with ES should we really take his word that IJC 38 is a sound man? Is there anyone else who can vouch for him.

Red-17, I can vouch for IJC 38, he is an absolute gentleman and quite the mover and shaker on the dance floor, has been known to associate with high society

As to your qualms re ES, 'I have never met such a contrary Irishman,' he's pussy cat compared to a fellow countryman on another site!

Marian, if I may call you Marian? --- would you like to sign on the crew here on the GD II ?? I think you'd make an ideal companion for Red.

I see you were just a twinkle in your Dad's eye when I sailed out of Princess Dock in Glasgow. Had some friends up in Cardonald -- was quite the ride taking the last tram down the Paisley Road to get back to the ship.(A bit like a roller coaster on steroids as I gather the driver wanted to get home.) I also had a nurse friend who worked in the York Hill hospital, and I used to take the Goven Ferry over to see her. Now there's maritime nostalgia for you!

Engine Serang · #**3389** 11th July 2018, 08:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Dear Farmer John and Billyboy, I am putting pencil to jotter because I am becoming more and more concerned about poor Red 17.She is retreating into her shell and is quite morose at times and this is not the bubbly outgoing young lady whom you invited (apparently) on board a few idyllic months ago.
Galley scuttlebu as it that she is being harassed by a member of our crew, sexually harassed. Tis is covered in the Shipping Act and the Geneva Convention and probably Marpol. Frigging computer is deleting letter itself, bloody Toshib

Cuid a do:

A shipmate keeps referring to Dodgy Mona as the Isle of Man. Red 17 regards this as a form of sexual harassment and whilst I do not fully agree with her, she can be a trifle sensitive, we must protect her. It is proposed that from henceforth, on the GD2, the Isle of Man will be called the Isle of Persons. No drink spilled and no horse frightened. QED.

IJC 38 · #**3390** 11th July 2018, 08:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Welcome aboard IJC -- I see from your profile you are an ex-trawler man. In that regard you are now offically appointed as our lead fisherman.

Argh! it be a long time since this poor Yorick cast a net in those welcoming cold waters off Iceland and Bear Island, I was but a tiddler myself, St Peter my fellow net caster was yet a boy also, joining the MN was like going to heaven after trawlers, forsoothe I shall endeavour to fulfil the duties cast upon me, so that my shipmates may enjoy the fruits of my labour of sticking my hand up a fish and ripping its guts out.

I am humbled by the references given by the fair maid Marian and stowaway Rob and I shall endeavour to live up to their disappointment in me. As one teacher said, this boy will not get far' but alas he had not reckoned on me joining the MN, I went so far I met myself coming back!

And as for the gentlemen some erstwhile time earlier said I should expose myself, forsoothe, oddboddikins sire have yee but little knowledge that it would transgress all known laws of Her Majesty's Realm and Governance to exhibit what little I have left and I have no wish to inconvenience Her Majesty's Constabulary in trying to find something that I find hard to locate even though it is still attached.

billyboy · #**3391** 11th July 2018, 08:34

IJC 38, you might get on well with Dartskipper as you are from Torquay.

billyboy · #**3392** 11th July 2018, 08:36

With his background maybe Rob Page could lend a hand to Tmac when required below.

billyboy · #**3393** 11th July 2018, 08:39

Grey-Marion, with her background she may be able to stand an occasional watch in the Radio shack when Mr Varley's busy.

Red-17 · #**3394** 11th July 2018, 09:38

Thanks to gray marion and Rob Page I am more than happy to extend my hand of welcome to IJC 38, and also to Marion and Rob. We are normally a happy fun loving crew but just occasionally there are issues that need to be aired. I do apologise for my outburst this morning but I do not like Furphys to be told about me.

Tom, please meet me on the wharf at 1900 so that we can head out for the evening.

Engine Serang · #**3395** 11th July 2018, 10:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red-17

If you repeat scuttlebutt you are bound to have it come back and bite you in the, in the, agh, you know where!

Skipper, could someone please have a word with this man? I have been nice to ES and friendly, I think that he deliberately chooses to try and upset me. I have never met such a contrary Irishman, in fact I have never met ANY contrary Irishmen.

Repeat scuttlebutt, of course I repeat scuttlebutt it's how the ship communicates. Little of import comes from the bridge, the wireless shack is manned (Personned) by an inhabitant of Crooked Mona and all that drifts up from the black hole is technical jargon and drunken ramblings. Hence; Ask the Cook.

As to the contrary Irishman you are half right, under the Good Friday Agreement I have both an Irish and a UK of GB and NI Passport. This allows me to be two faced as it does Tmac, although he was two faced long before the GFA. Tmac's two little friends only have a GB passport as they were graded too intelligent to have an Irish one.
Be nice Red 17, or perhaps be even nicer.

Varley · #**3396** 11th July 2018, 12:01

You can see how out of date are the denizens of enemy occupied Hibernia. We are in the era of GMDSS - we do not communicate by scuttlebutt or by the cook's range but by broadband GalleySat.

Varley · #**3397** 11th July 2018, 12:03

The Isle of Man is good enough for my Sovereign's personal representative who signed my Passport for me. And my mona is not the slightest bit crooked, even after a good night out (the frequency/load curve might be a little steep but no elbow to the baby's arm).

Engine Serang · #**3398** 11th July 2018, 13:30

Capital idea Mr V, we'll digitise the cook, McCloggie will henceforth be known as 001011101011. Bit of a mouthful but tastier than his Cock au Van.

Varley · #**3399** 11th July 2018, 20:20

That sounds a little more like octal to me.

billyboy · #**3400** 12th July 2018, 00:16

wow this is a nice place. Red velvet furnishings. Maroon Bar, Red Carpeting....even the lights outside have red bulbs.
The waitresess!!...wow, If she wore anything I bet that would be red too.
Bottle of Rum and two glasses please miss.