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Humour the best of medicine

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  #1676  
Old 1st April 2023, 14:37
rustytrawler England rustytrawler is offline
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I have a racing tip for you the horse is called council dump,but watch out it may be a rubbish tip.
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  #1677  
Old 1st April 2023, 20:27
Makko Mexico Makko is offline
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Wanna tip? Look both ways before crossing the road!

Groan, groan, gro----an!
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  #1678  
Old 1st April 2023, 20:39
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Malcolm G Malcolm G is offline
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Yep, It's time to roll out the groanometer again...
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  #1679  
Old 2nd April 2023, 11:03
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Bob Clay had an electronic meter, much less accurate.
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  #1680  
Old 2nd April 2023, 11:44
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Just in case you ever asked, here is the proof..
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  #1681  
Old 3rd April 2023, 22:20
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The prostitute: “Have you finished yet?”
The mistress: “Oh no, you haven’t finished”
The wife: “When are you going to finish painting that ceiling?”
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  #1682  
Old 9th April 2023, 14:52
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Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
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Ah, that's how I got my Scandinavian passport "Are you Feenish Daveed".
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #1683  
Old 9th April 2023, 22:56
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Meanwhile, a few months and many complications later…
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  #1684  
Old 10th April 2023, 06:49
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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I

I think that could be a Yellow Card. No not a Jap.
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  #1685  
Old 26th April 2023, 13:43
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al1934 England al1934 is offline
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The laws of the navy

The Laws of the Navy
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Best Wishes,


Alick
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  #1686  
Old 26th April 2023, 13:44
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al1934 England al1934 is offline
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Not to mention the litter problems!
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Alick
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  #1687  
Old 3rd May 2023, 11:26
Lao Pan Taiwan Lao Pan is offline
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For the last 70 odd years British Post Office vans have had E II R on the side.

Due to the change in senior management, with much deliberation, it has been decided that the sign writing will be changed to:-

C3PO
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  #1688  
Old 3rd May 2023, 11:43
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Dartskipper United Kingdom Dartskipper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lao Pan View Post
For the last 70 odd years British Post Office vans have had E II R on the side.

Due to the change in senior management, with much deliberation, it has been decided that the sign writing will be changed to:-

C3PO
Very good!
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"You do not ask a tame seagull why it needs to disappear from time to time towards the open sea. It goes. That's all." Bernard Moitessier.
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  #1689  
Old 28th May 2023, 10:45
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Henry’s going to need a lot of straw.. Dear Liza.
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  #1690  
Old 1st June 2023, 11:33
Lao Pan Taiwan Lao Pan is offline
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With all these items in the news about the dangers of Artificial Intelligence, I decided to ask an AI Chat Bot whether Artificial Intelligence would destroy the human race.

And this is the answer it gave me:

".....We're Working On It....."

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  #1691  
Old 6th June 2023, 10:53
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Lao Pan me oul shipmate ask your AI Chat Bot whether Artificial Intelligence could get three Generators running on a Russian ship and improve the MTBF.
We know the answer.

PS. awaiting more of your excellent photographs.
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  #1692  
Old 6th June 2023, 13:01
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Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
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Did you also have Russian Impressed Current Coating Remover?
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David V
Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #1693  
Old 6th June 2023, 16:31
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Our ICCP is of Nederlands supply.

We don't use Bahco as we find King Dick more appropriate.
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  #1694  
Old 23rd June 2023, 14:27
Lao Pan Taiwan Lao Pan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Engine Serang View Post
Lao Pan me oul shipmate ask your AI Chat Bot whether Artificial Intelligence could get three Generators running on a Russian ship and improve the MTBF.
We know the answer.

PS. awaiting more of your excellent photographs.
I don't think they could get their spindly little fingers to throw in those big 3 phase knife switches - let alone synchronise to the busses as the online Generator dropped to 30Hz while working cargo with a seizing Turbo. MTBF about 20 mins, then repeat. (Al Salehiah - Summer 1979, New Orleans - Generator Flat Temperature > 60 deg C Following Hurricane Bob)

Just spent the last year replacing my aging fleet of 'puters - so may find time to do some more 35mm scans - unfortunately the company that makes the best picky editing software noticed that I had inadvertently forgotten to pay them (£900) before installing it - Us J/E's still only get paid in beans - and sent me a stern warning, so I will have to find something else to do the post production
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  #1695  
Old 23rd June 2023, 22:10
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John Rogers United States John Rogers is offline
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Three old and retired Navy Chiefs were sitting around and talking. The first chief said, "The best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good pee. I stand there for twenty minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have to go over and over again."
The second chief said, "The best thing that could happen to me is if I could have one good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can get my hands on and it's still a problem."
Then third chief said, "That's not my problem. Every morning at 6:00 am sharp, I have a good long pee. At around 6:30 am I have a great bowel movement. The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake up before 7:00 am.
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  #1696  
Old 24th June 2023, 08:21
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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My new meter of "Good Belly Laughs" has barely flickered but as a Chief once said to me, a promising start and will improve as the trip goes on.
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  #1697  
Old 24th June 2023, 11:44
rustytrawler England rustytrawler is offline
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I once went out with a girl from Kerry, i think her Dad must of been a cardinal as she always wore purple underwear.
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  #1698  
Old 24th June 2023, 13:26
rustytrawler England rustytrawler is offline
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Expensive, ehen i get home from Ireland i think i will have to sell one of my cars, and probably my most disliked child.
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  #1699  
Old 25th June 2023, 17:32
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Varley Isle of Man Varley is offline
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Advise mileage and fuel type. Is child still good for a couple of years chimney work?
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
Himself. It struck him dead and serve him right
It is the duty of the wealthy man
To give employment to the artisan
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  #1700  
Old 25th June 2023, 18:10
rustytrawler England rustytrawler is offline
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Age 42....fuel type any larger apart from when i am paying then it is stella.....expert at borrowing stuff and looking after his Mum, needs an eye keeping on him as he is known for steeling chips of his Dads plate.
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