virtual crazy gang, part II

[rustytrawler]

Eyup Billyboy, in six months time and your 81 1/2 birthday please dont invite varley, i saw him filling his pockets with fish eggs and the steward told me that there was two silver forks missing that i saw varley using as tyre levers when he had a puncture near the poxy wheel.

[Varley]

Couldn't have been me RT - It makes them taste funny and the smell is devilish expensive to have dry-cleaned-out. (Silver? do you think this is the Cunard?).

[billyboy]

Mr Varley is no Silver thief....even after 3 bottles of Vintage port. however, a little Caviar on vintage cheese with biscuits has been known.

[Engine Serang]

The Noble Lord a common Tealeaf.......... I rather think not, he's more a Fortnum & Mason man than PG Tips. Google IMarEST annual Swarry and watch F&M price spike.

His Lordship using tyre levers? One again thinks not, he has the Estate mechanic "Sittingbourne" or some such name, to repair punctures. Fish forks indeed.

[rustytrawler]

There are other case's i could point to, what about the time when the ships cat went missing and was found at varley's house?.......Please ask yourself would you buy a car off him if so alls well. Varley also has a part time job maintaining fruit machine's in Peel could this be the reason he now pays for all his pub drinks with twenty pence piece's?

[Varley]

We do welcome cats (well, perhaps the incumbents and hens don't but I do). We do not, however, feed on the Beluga. I have been known to fettle gadgets when the appropriate tradesman needs expert guidance and might accept a friendly pint of Bushy's in exchange for my valuable contribution.

(20ps? Not even in Peel will you find a one armed bandit that expects so mean a customer. They do have a pub with resident cat, the Peveril).

You are on the right tracks ES, all my automobilling is done for me. No longer Grandma's Fisher (who she set up in his own taxi business when she downsized him) but altogether younger (without the same prospects!)

(I couldn't easily see self or companions on the bash's photos, rather lackluster this year in my opinion, but I am there somewhere)

[Engine Serang]

As Mr Sassoon once said, "For though low down upon the list, I'm there: "In proud and glorious memory"—that's my due".

Indeed you're so grand one wonders if fish forks really have a plaice (sic) on your table, pukka Regiment Officer Messes do not use soup spoons or fish cutlery, much too common, akin to eating sandwiches or rolls or god forbid, wraps.

[rustytrawler]

It was reported on I.O.M. radio this morning that varley has bought a dabber from the 20p shop and he's taking up the sport of bingo, good luck to him. All winnings going to the R.N.L.I.

[Engine Serang]

Mona calling, Mona calling; WTF is a dabber? All that's needed for Bingo is a blue perm and nylon stockings down at your ankles

[rustytrawler]

I dont know if varley is into that sort of thing?

[Varley]

Regrettably we do have soup and fish cutlery (the latter called by the even lower orders; 'fish eaters'). Despite this some still ends up on the weskit.

However humble the homested - Crittall windows will make it humbler, just as flat rooving makes it wetter. The dining room ceiling fell-in overnight, had bathroom flood Spring 22 which caused monsoon in that downstairs. Apparently not much damage but several months of de-humidifier and the early summer sun playing on the flat roof above finally de-stuck ceiling paper. Fortunately no guests or pussycats involved.

Dabber? No idea. Blue rinse? Will have to see if one of mother's dresses will compliment same otherwise will keep barnet usual skyblue-pink bouffont - tiara for Housie-housie, pearls for wrap eating.

(Mr. Google suggest dabbing a feature marijuana taking. Is making smoke signals with a bong Vice signalling?)

[rustytrawler]

Hi varley, is it true that piggy sturgon has her moterhome parked at yours, better shift it on the hurryup. with I.O.M. being part of Scotland it is the first place plod will look.

[Varley]

It is far more likely to be one of those eyesore-making wheeliebins dug-in above the Cloch Light. Steaming passed that rubbish tip once a month made me realise that I knew nothing of the tastelessness of others. Here I have no tongue in cheek - whether the owners be lairds or resurrectionists it should never have been allowed. The Island does allow campervans, unfortunately, but caravans are illegal.

But. Why do we fret about how the built environment looks? (or in that case the portable environment). Surely it is more important that the vista we enjoy from inside (both that which is built and that which comes through the windows) than what one's vantage point for doing this looks like to passers-by.

I have been refused permission to replace a broken skylight because it is a 'feature'. The little green eyed jobsworth's idea of a feature marks him out one who spent more of his time as a student 'studying' particularly ugly Victorian piss-houses rather than any knowledgeable texts on Deco. The architect made sure this, then watertight, window was not generally seen. From inside only from the corridor leading to the maid's room and from the outside only if flying over yet I cannot replace it.

I suppose I have something to be grateful for. Having saved the budget for the job refusal allowed me to spend it at 'The WineCellar' instead.

[Engine Serang]

Appeal dear boy, Appeal.

And use a solicitor familiar to the local Council.

[rustytrawler]

Hi varley, if you are having bother with the powers that be let me know i know some mafia types from Dublin who will gladly nip over and sort them ....no charge.

[Engine Serang]

I don't think the Kinehan Cartel do handbags with planning appeals.

[Varley]

Appealing? That is the nicest thing anyone has called me since my kidney cyst was described as almost normal.

(No point. I have drunk the budget. Presently engaged in legal warfare with the borough over lampposts. Allowed by my licence under conditions. Conditions changed against licence last year. They claim licence could never have existed as they don't agree with it, my ownership denied despite paper trail. So far GBP 2K spent with advocate and faced with taking action in Court).

[Engine Serang]

You are in danger of becoming "Disgusted on the Port Erin Omnibus", relax, put a bit of perspex over your windows and treat yourself to a bottle of Grey Goose.

[billyboy]

sorry been busy lately. Where are we? Hope we are headed somewhere nice. Think we all need a good run ashore. Been up to the driving room and looked at the map thingy. Noted a "X" on the pencil line. seems like lands end 20 mile off the Port bow.

[Engine Serang]

So we're going down the channel. LEFO.

[rustytrawler]

EYUP ES i have now named co Leitrim the land of poo after just putting my flask of tea in a wet one!

[Varley]

Well, it sounds as if we are going down a channel. Which way-up was the map thingy?

Rusty, please wipe that off the bottom before offering sippers to ES.

[rustytrawler]

EYUP Varly i have found a job for you in Ballinamore, the high school is looking for a man to referee the sports day javelin over tens compertition.....Dustbin lid provided!

[Varley]

That gander you suggested is making eyes at me through the Perspex. Perhaps the dealer misheard my request for a grey one.

[billyboy]

Hmmm iron Mikes turning us to the left. Guess we must be heading for Gib. Never mind, couple of good bars there. and plenty of places to visit in the Med.