virtual crazy gang, part II

Engine Serang · #**3751** 17th September 2018, 20:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

.

This ship is getting worse, chickens, pigs, assorted colours of elephant, rats, mice and squirrels and now tigers .... bloody floating zoo we are

McCloggie is lucky he has no sheep on the ForeCastle cause Nelly is female.

Tmac1720 · #**3752** 17th September 2018, 20:51

Do Svidaniya ES, I am fluent in two languages English and gibberish

FYI I do NOT was my skiddies, the recognised procedure is to remove same and throw against the bulkhead. If they stick a new pair is called for otherwise they are serviceable for a few months yet

Barman, a pint of Black Bush if you please and put a cherry in it as I need to eat more fruit

Tmac1720 · #**3753** 17th September 2018, 20:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

McCloggie is lucky he has no sheep on the ForeCastle cause Nelly is female.

AND he has no wellies !!

Engine Serang · #**3754** 17th September 2018, 21:11

Or a small stepladder.

Varley · #**3755** 17th September 2018, 23:57

Why not wear them for a few days more and save on the Devcon?

Engine Serang · #**3756** 18th September 2018, 07:04

Thoroughly enjoyed the Sea Shanty Competition in the PX Lounge, a great night was had by all.
However, as they say on the Great British Menu, Varley's winning ditty did not ring true to my C sharp ears.
"Fifteen men on a dead mans chest
yo ho ho and a bottle of gripitini"
A bit of plagiarism I believe. My objections to the committee lead to a lot of unpleasantness and the ensuing melee was not helped by Tmac shouting "Lets' Rumble"

Senior Officers must persuade head Office to employ a Ships Nurse without delay before anymore thick lips are seen at breakfast.

billyboy · #**3757** 18th September 2018, 12:58

Our ships nurse will be returning quite soon I believe.

As I have no wish to get involved in any interdepartmental melee. I do however wish to point out that in the event of such a melee arising i should be forced to join the Engineering department. as that is where my forte lies. Never had much to do with ropes or spew bowls you see.

Farmer John · #**3758** 18th September 2018, 16:06

Don't say Forty lies, Sir William, simply a cluster of terminological inexactitudes. We of the deck will initiate you into the plotting of positions on charts, that is the pinnacle of deception and it can be backed up by the figures.

YM-Mundrabilla · #**3759** 19th September 2018, 02:39

'Our ships nurse will be returning quite soon I believe.'

Hope so!
Red's temporary replacement (or her broomstick), has not been mentioned herein before for good reason.

Tom Alexander · #**3760** 19th September 2018, 06:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Barman, a pint of Black Bush if you please and put a cherry in it as I need to eat more fruit

Ah! Reminds me of when we were in darkest Africa -- seem to remember Tmac finding a cherry in a black bush there --- to everyone's surprise.

Engine Serang · #**3761** 19th September 2018, 07:22

Tmac's cherryometer is a finely tuned organ and is spoken off with awe in his home patch. Hence his nickname as .

Tmac1720 · #**3762** 19th September 2018, 16:00

Very rare to find a ripe cherry in a Black Bush but very tasty it was as I recall...It was more years ago than I care to remember.

My cherryometer is indeed world renowned and is a object inspiring both shock and awe, in that order when first made ready for operation. Has been known to bring tears to the eyes of those in receipt of its power.

Engine Serang · #**3763** 19th September 2018, 20:17

Some of the scallywags in the Messroom are saying they must be tears of laughter. I myself did not join in the general merriment. Shipmates can oft be very cruel.

billyboy · #**3764** 19th September 2018, 23:52

I seem to recall, when we visited that naturist beach a few years back. Tmacs party trick was to walk the sandy beach on all fours.....and leave five tracks. I Jest you not my friends.

Tom Alexander · #**3765** 20th September 2018, 05:02

As I recall that was also the year that Tmac won the Romney Marsh Ploughing & Cultivations Society’s Annual Ploughing Match. The straightest, deepest furrow of them all.

Engine Serang · #**3766** 20th September 2018, 06:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

I seem to recall, when we visited that naturist beach a few years back. Tmacs party trick was to walk the sandy beach on all fours.....and leave five tracks. .

The fifth track was his tongue hanging out. But the Romney March incident is still being talked about by the locals in between rogering their animals and nieces and nephews. Own up now, who in the crew bought a house in Dymchurch recently? You dirty dog.

Farmer John · #**3767** 20th September 2018, 09:45

It was not so much the straightness and regularity of the furrows, the clincher was the excellence of the openings and closing and the complete burial of all the trash.
This may be a bit technical.
He was also admired for his reversible work, more mechanical but executed with aplomb and panache.

Varley · #**3768** 20th September 2018, 10:31

I have both a serviceable plomb and a panche that only needs a bit of WD40. Unfortunately neither of them are metric.

Engine Serang · #**3769** 20th September 2018, 11:04

Panache is Urdu for cottage cheese or feta or that wobbly one, but not near as salty.
WD40 may not be metric but it works on metric threads, not as good as on BSF, BSW or the fiddley one used by Lecky. It is ambidextrous and asexual, handy in these testing times.

Varley · #**3770** 20th September 2018, 15:20

Leckie usually used grown-up ironmongery. It was Sparkie who used BA (but had, by regulation the tools to go with them. He didn't need a shifter to round off the flats either as a set of small files were mandated for that).

I think for a sexual handy work KY would be more comfortable - it is water based and should NOT be used as easing or protective fluid in the mechanical field. Vaseline would be more ambidextrous.

No more do I want a knowing glance or wink-wink from the plasticos should I walk passed wearing a slight whiff of WD40, especially from one of the pretty ones.

Dartskipper · #**3771** 20th September 2018, 18:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

The fifth track was his tongue hanging out. But the Romney March incident is still being talked about by the locals in between rogering their animals and nieces and nephews. Own up now, who in the crew bought a house in Dymchurch recently? You dirty dog.

Right next to the railway tracks, too, they can sit in the garden and watch the little engines go past all day long and daydream about steam engines, reciprocating pistons and connecting rods, simple expansion and aromatic exhaust fumes.

Wicked.....

Tom Alexander · #**3772** 21st September 2018, 05:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dartskipper

Right next to the railway tracks, too, they can sit in the garden and watch the little engines go past all day long and daydream about steam engines, reciprocating pistons and connecting rods, simple expansion and aromatic exhaust fumes.

Wicked.....

Do I gauge a rather narrow view of the rails in that area????

Farmer John · #**3773** 21st September 2018, 17:55

I have negotiated for and acquired a miniature steam railway to carry the gravy round the dining tables. Would every one ensure their glasses, esp. those with Gripetini, are kept beyond the reach of the heat and flames from the engine. If you wish to toast your dinner rolls, please arrange a stop with the Fat Controller and ensure you keep the boiler adequately fired whilst it is at your sidings.

In very heavy weather this service may have to be suspended, no-one (that I know of) wants a small steam locomotive down their trousers, and it is strongly frowned upon to use said locomotive to chase ferrets from ones pantaloons.

Your attention to these requests will ensure life continues on it's merry way.

YM-Mundrabilla · #**3774** 22nd September 2018, 06:54

Tea is not not be made with water from the boilers and/or injectors of passing locomotives nor is Scotch to be contaminated therewith.

Tom Alexander · #**3775** 22nd September 2018, 07:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farmer John

I have negotiated for and acquired a miniature steam railway to carry the gravy round the dining tables. Would every one ensure their glasses, esp. those with Gripetini, are kept beyond the reach of the heat and flames from the engine. If you wish to toast your dinner rolls, please arrange a stop with the Fat Controller and ensure you keep the boiler adequately fired whilst it is at your sidings.

In very heavy weather this service may have to be suspended, no-one (that I know of) wants a small steam locomotive down their trousers, and it is strongly frowned upon to use said locomotive to chase ferrets from ones pantaloons.

Your attention to these requests will ensure life continues on it's merry way.

Come, come, now, Farmer John. Surely our injuneering department can enable a gimballed arrangement for the boiler, cab, and tender and use magnetic wheels to ensure adhesion to the track. Together with our high tech stabilisers motion should all but be eliminated. So, keep the trains a-coming -- pass the gravy boat, please.