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virtual crazy gang, part II

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  #4501  
Old 12th February 2019, 22:56
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Varley View Post
Ezekiel 15:4, perhaps.
roughly translated (as one does)...Hard at both ends but soft in the middle.
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  #4502  
Old 12th February 2019, 22:59
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Originally Posted by Tmac1720 View Post
John 11 : 35.... and that was before the injuneers marked his card.

"As indeed he may well have done Tmac...LOL
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  #4503  
Old 12th February 2019, 23:04
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strange these foreign lassies. Once ,while in the throes of copulation, one once said "Keeeeeeeece mefast am i arriving" Never did get a translation on that. She was asleep when I left. did'nt like to wake her and enquire.
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  #4504  
Old 12th February 2019, 23:47
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The most lively response I have ever engendered was a young lady dropped one of her chips that she was eating from a paper on my back.
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  #4505  
Old 13th February 2019, 00:14
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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On my last ship crewed by ratings from the Gold Coast "The Ezekiel" was just below the "Topaz" in the Cast pecking order. He carried out those tasks that Topaz found distasteful primarily retrieving lobsters from the Sparkies bum. The poor creatures were not fit for consumption so they were given to the Bhandahry for disposal. Sparks took two suppositories 4 times daily with a tumbler of BOT lime juice until he saw a witch doctor in Bonny who gave him sudofed and a jar of thermidor sauce labelled only to be opened in case of extreme hunger. The Ezekiel was ever so happy.
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  #4506  
Old 13th February 2019, 07:26
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Originally Posted by YM-Mundrabilla View Post
Business class on Qantas will be fine thank you.
My last trip by rail on the Nullarbor followed something of a disaster and was on 'my private breakdown train' where the catering was better than both Qantas and the Indian Pacific albeit we travelled at a maximum speed of only 50 km/h.
Looking forward to seeing you in Freemantle then.
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  #4507  
Old 13th February 2019, 08:27
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Looking forward to seeing you in Freemantle then.
Just polishing up my firing shovel - it's been a while.......................

(Just in case, however unlikely, that all the other finely built, tuned, polished and maintained machinery fails and we have to go back to the T3 for a while.)

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  #4508  
Old 13th February 2019, 11:39
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FJ goes a long way to explain why I fail in the Lothario department. Previously I imagined one attracted the hungry ones with a posh dinner and a bottle of Mateus rather than trying to feed them in bed from a paperfull of fried potatoes laid out on ones back.

How does one get them there in the first place? A ground bait of chips leading 'upstairs'?

I do not see how the averagely built missionary and his hungry primitive would arrange themselves to dine thusly. Is this perhaps the McDonald's position? I would find an illustration educational.

As for E-S's encounters with one of the Brethren who had his ration of crustacea up aft instead of forward I can only say that we were not all like that....

...Ducky.

(And I do know they're arachnids!)
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Last edited by Varley; 13th February 2019 at 11:47.
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  #4509  
Old 13th February 2019, 16:04
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Varley View Post
FJ goes a long way to explain why I fail in the Lothario department. Previously I imagined one attracted the hungry ones with a posh dinner and a bottle of Mateus rather than trying to feed them in bed from a paperful of fried potatoes laid out on ones back.



(And I do know they're arachnids!)
Bed? Oh you are wishing for the very moon, pile of old sacks was all I aspired to.

If you have anything walking and tickling on the body it's that nasty lot, The Insects, from a very different class to the arachnids (Aranea, Acari, Scorpiones and the Opiliones).
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  #4510  
Old 14th February 2019, 07:41
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Course Due North - Rottenest Island abeam to starboard. Engine telegraph dead slow ahead. Should be ready to berth in Freemantle in four hours -- Time for a "livener" so we are sharp and on our toes.
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  #4511  
Old 14th February 2019, 08:08
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Steward!...Break out the pre Docking Bottles please.
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  #4512  
Old 14th February 2019, 11:06
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By gum you're right. What on earth is the telegraph doing ahead of us and moving so slowly? Look! there are another two. I wonder if anything methylated has got into the predocking cocktail.

(Pa claimed one could tell if there was a meths drinker about from the gents - smell like a tom cat).
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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  #4513  
Old 14th February 2019, 18:33
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By gum you're right. What on earth is the telegraph doing ahead of us and moving so slowly? Look! there are another two. I wonder if anything methylated has got into the predocking cocktail.

(Pa claimed one could tell if there was a meths drinker about from the gents - smell like a tom cat).
Must have been hellish in asparagus season.
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  #4514  
Old 14th February 2019, 19:00
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Fenugreek, that'll get rid of the tom cat piss. I think there is a lot to be said for... almost anything rather going round sniffing for urinary exoticness. I only we had a few ladies on the old GD.
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  #4515  
Old 15th February 2019, 02:02
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Bit of Vic vapur rub on your top lip and you will hardly notice the Tom Cats calling card.
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  #4516  
Old 15th February 2019, 07:08
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We are cleared to dock at the Passenger Terminal. Please get us all tied up with those stringy thingys with the loop de loops on the end. Pilot to get us a personalised map of all the good bars and clubs. Only cost us a bottle of Ouzo -- strange man that pilot. (He just said "it's all Greek to me!")
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  #4517  
Old 15th February 2019, 11:50
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sounds good to me Tom. The Pilots know the type pf places we like to drink in.
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  #4518  
Old 15th February 2019, 12:26
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I wish I could join you but two of the cutouts misunderstood your order from the bridge. When I have managed to untie myself and unhook the loopy things (and hook them again around the necks of those two soon-to-be-delaminated cutouts) I will be for a spot of recovery fluid in the "Cable-View" fwd cocktail lounge.
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Lord Finchley tried to mend the electric light
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  #4519  
Old 15th February 2019, 14:38
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The rope things have been redundant since Tmac invented the magnetic tier-upper. Mind you, it makes navigation and position fixing by compass a little problematic. I also suspect it is fooling with the Earth's magnetic field.
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  #4520  
Old 15th February 2019, 17:58
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So we may not be where we think we are? I thought that was the normal state of affairs.
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  #4521  
Old 16th February 2019, 03:23
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maybe we forgot to allow for the wind..... This family did as the duke dropped a cracker
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  #4522  
Old 16th February 2019, 06:57
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The rope things have been redundant since Tmac invented the magnetic tier-upper. Mind you, it makes navigation and position fixing by compass a little problematic. I also suspect it is fooling with the Earth's magnetic field.
OK - except when we go into one of those out of the way places when we we dock at dilapidated old wooden piers.

You might be right about the earth's magnetic field, ----- if we stay in Freemantle too long, we might wind up in the Northern Hemisphere without going anywhere.
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  #4523  
Old 18th February 2019, 08:36
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Bloody Australia has caused a large degree of torpor amongst the crew, just as I prophesised, no one could be arsed to string a few words into a post. Lets make haste, make steam and get to fcuk out of this cultural hell-hole. As Nelson said to his troops before the battle of Hastings; Man can not live on nostalgia alone. We must learn from his mistakes, Billy Boy.
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  #4524  
Old 18th February 2019, 10:11
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I am only along for the ride these days ES. Toms the man to see. If you request a destination written on the back od a large banknote I am sure he fit your destination in somehow.
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  #4525  
Old 18th February 2019, 12:44
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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I think you are misunderestimating your influence on this fast and commodious vessel. The engineers cannot order a chateaubriand in the Duty Mess without Mr Mccloggie running it past Capt. Billy. although a bowl of Lobscouse can be gotten without reference to yourself.
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