virtual crazy gang, part II

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Did you hear about the fellow that couldn't spell ???

Spent the whole weekend in a wharehouse.

Surely he must have had other cognitive impairments as well. A weekend amongst mixed cargo would not be that enticing, even if he expected a godown.

[Engine Serang]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

ES, please report to my office for the re-fantasising as your previous inoculation seems to have worn off. Your reality is showing really badly.
.

Right and correct FJ.
Last week I missed tiffin and nearly sobered-up, a dangerous state. Hallucinations set in and I began to fanaticise about normality, equally dangerous. Had a few (many) scoops with T and V and am now back on the rails. That gripitini is a powerful aphrodisiac. Steward!!!!!

[Varley]

Put that steward down at once! They split very easily. I must have put something queer in the mash for that batch.

But it's not bad at all. I say. That one's winking at me.

[Farmer John]

It always happens when you put some Swedes in with the potatoes.

[Engine Serang]

The bloody Swedes will drink us out of house and home. Let's turf all the males off. The Ladies don't drink quite so much but have the habit of pissing in the cabin sink! Blondes have more fun, apparently.

[Varley]

Well I suppose we can vary the blend to give one the 'boost' required in which ever way the drinker swings.

(A friend of mine's mother was asked before a diagnostic heart procedure if she had taken any Viagra recently. Evidently administering it was part of the test procedure. I've asked BUPA if I can have one. Just as precaution you understand).

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Last week I missed tiffin and nearly sobered-up,

It seems that ES has been wearing out his welcome in the local bars here in Lima -- comes back to the GD for Gripetini??

Methinks that on the morrow we should tidy up and sneak out of the harbour and head for Valparaiso. Loads of bars and clubs there although if we let the plasticos ashore we might have a problem getting them out of some establishments to come back to the ship.

Weather looking good for a pleasant cruise down the coast. Pax lounge for a prepare to leave the port party.

[Varley]

I think all we have to do to get the plasticos back from ashore is to send E-S to do a round of the harbour bars pre-sozzled with Sweded Gripetini.

[Engine Serang]

ES is not amused.

[Varley]

I am so sorry ES. I thought you were hyphenated.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Varley

I am so sorry ES. I thought you were hyphenated.

He doesn't have a squeaky voice.

[Engine Serang]

No V, you hyphenated me. In my naivety I believed you had heard something mentioned in the hallowed marble halls in which you circulate, only to be disappointed once again. Is it my Secondary Modern education?
ES versus E-S? Upon mature reflection I agree with you, E-S has a touch of Class about it. Class which is badly needed and appreciated on GD2. Fcuk the working class.

[Dartskipper]

Did someone say "working glass?"

Mine's a pint please steward.

[Varley]

Well, you have a touch of it so E-S it will be. Should you acquire another handle, provided it is not of the life sort, I will be sure to use it.

I am not, however, sure I concur as to GD2's compliment. Ladies and gentlemen to the nth, every one. (A pity, as there is a lot of the remaining alphabet to award).

[Engine Serang]

Quote:[A pity, as there is a lot of the remaining alphabet to award. Quote]


Last time GD1 transited the Suez Canal the Gilly-Gilly Man had a business card which showed him to have the professional qualifications of "BSc, Bombay (Failed), VD and Scar". Such academic brilliance enabled him to produce chicks from Ladies (and wives) bosoms.
Can't do that with a "MIMarEST.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Methinks that on the morrow we should tidy up and sneak out of the harbour and head for Valparaiso. Loads of bars and clubs there although if we let the plasticos ashore we might have a problem getting them out of some establishments to come back to the ship.

Weather looking good for a pleasant cruise down the coast. Pax lounge for a prepare to leave the port party.

Here I am, all alone in the Pax lounge waiting for everyone to join me for a leaving the port party. Is it that no one wants to leave Lima due to the frivolity and and fleshly delights available ashore here???? Do not the similar allures of Valparaiso entice???????

[Engine Serang]

Tom me oul mucker, who the hell do you think is pulling in the ropes , single up Fore and Aft, put water on deck and power on the Forecastle. Test the Steering Gear, run-up the second alternator and kick the main engine over on air.
Sober up Tom, get your steaming bonnet on and your arse up to the wheelhouse. Full Away on Passage, me hearties.

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Quote:[A pity, as there is a lot of the remaining alphabet to award. Quote]


Last time GD1 transited the Suez Canal the Gilly-Gilly Man had a business card which showed him to have the professional qualifications of "BSc, Bombay (Failed), VD and Scar". Such academic brilliance enabled him to produce chicks from Ladies (and wives) bosoms.
Can't do that with a "MIMarEST.

With the instruction book we certainly can! (I am only AMImarEST, Sir, Chief, Eminence, Y'r Grace etc. flat cap at the doff).

[Varley]

I can explain some of that. All the plasticos are in the fwd cocktail lounge. The Sweded Gripe is going down like a house on fire (that is possibly a poor analogy, given it's flammability). They're not so much singled-up ready to go but doubled and going.

If you move your feet Tom I could get out from under here. I'm hiding from two of the pretty ones with this bottle of port. Well, empty bottle. You could just pass me down another, passed to port, of course, must keep our manners minded.

[billyboy]

Hmmm, Main Engines ticking over, Must nip up to the Bridge with a bottle of Four Bell's. Its a joy to watch Tom handle the old girl.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by billyboy

Its a joy to watch Tom handle the old girl.

Whilst Tom is getting nostalgic with some lady (!!), I'll gently ease us on our way.

Let go fore and aft, steer for the hole in the wall and apply some power, you chaps, you have all done this before.

Ah, Tom, don't cry into your hanky, she is gone with the pilot now, there'll be someone else at the next port. Valley Paradiso, here we come.

Quick 4 Bells for us all and the usual Black Bush down the voice pipe for Tmac.

[Engine Serang]

Ah, Tom, don't cry into your hanky, Indeed not!

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Tom me oul mucker, who the hell do you think is pulling in the ropes , single up Fore and Aft, put water on deck and power on the Forecastle. Test the Steering Gear, run-up the second alternator and kick the main engine over on air.
Sober up Tom, get your steaming bonnet on and your arse up to the wheelhouse. Full Away on Passage, me hearties.

I don't think we have anyone pulling their rope, pudding or anything else. We do have Cutouts heaving and stowing lines. I doubt if you would know the difference between a chain stopper and a breast hook so you'd better stay below.

You'd also better defer to Tmac before you turn over anything in the injun room. I doubt he would be amused to hear that someone turned over his nuclear powered steam turbine/gas turbine with compressed air. (Engines updated to run on dual fuel, and injuneered so there are no carbon emissions.) The fuel oil we carry is mainly used for the distillation of spiritus fermenti and heating the swimming pool.

You will pleased to hear that not only my arse is up in the wheelhouse, but also the rest of my bits as well. They will be well stuck together with the Four Bells Sir William is sending up.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Engine Serang

Ah, Tom, don't cry into your hanky, Indeed not!

Hairy harsed seamen do not have hankies -- we have snot rags. Nothing dainty up on deck!

[billyboy]

Yawn ....Stretch...Pffffffffffart.

Steward!...Full english, fesh coffee and the usual bottle please.