virtual crazy gang, part II

Dartskipper · #**576** 16th May 2017, 19:02

I thought Sir William had rigged the tyres as fenders, and had invited Red 17 to lean over the rail to see his handiwork (as it were.) It would have brought a whole new meaning to that familiar phrase,

"She's suffered a fender bender."

billyboy · #**577** 17th May 2017, 01:45

just doing my keep fit push up's Chief. Did'nt realize she has slipped under me when i was up....Honest!

PatriciaAnnT · #**578** 17th May 2017, 02:09

Oh, dear.

billyboy · #**579** 17th May 2017, 06:43

Our guests will be aboard in half an hour. Must get dressed for the part. Best uniforms please guys. we want to make a good impression.
Steward! you know which glasses to spike later eh? thats right, keep the females on the weak stuff. make sure the Mayor passes out early.
I think I'll mix me powdered Viagra and Guinness just to get me in the party mood.
See to it our female crew have whatever they want on my tab steward.

Tom Alexander · #**580** 17th May 2017, 08:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

Our guests will be aboard in half an hour. Must get dressed for the part. Best uniforms please guys. we want to make a good impression.
Steward! you know which glasses to spike later eh? thats right, keep the females on the weak stuff. make sure the Mayor passes out early.
I think I'll mix me powdered Viagra and Guinness just to get me in the party mood.
See to it our female crew have whatever they want on my tab steward.

This sounds pretty serious -- I suppose I should break down and have a shave?

Malcolm G · #**581** 17th May 2017, 08:31

Do I have to dig out my posey medals?

Farmer John · #**582** 17th May 2017, 09:23

I am afraid something seems to have got into the water, I knew we shouldn't allow it's consumption. Red-17 is ashore at the moment, you lot have been road-testing one of the new generation cyber dolls, and you've wrecked it!

It was on loan, but we can't send it back like this. Varley and Tmac, is ther any chance you can rebuild? And try to think Pygmalion and not Frankenstein, we don't need a cyborg lurking round the place removing crews bits to check against it's spares list.

Varley · #**583** 17th May 2017, 11:56

Water! Me? I might have swallowed a small drop whilst showering but not enough to bring on a doll wrecking frenzy.

Ahem. When it comes to using crew bits for repairs are you sure you checked the specification (Bits external, asymmetrical, dangly. And Bits, external, symmetrical, firm) matched the GD's shopping list? The two models available are not interchangeable and statistics suggest that only a few of us would take a test drive without worrying which one was which if you get my drift. If one was 'shifting into fourth' when discovering one was driving home the wrong way it might explain the damage.

I am not sure Tmac and I will want to work on it together - that model's not available yet.

billyboy · #**584** 17th May 2017, 12:19

Not guilty tyou honor.

Stewards! man the gangway to welcome visitors. Guide them to the PAX lounge for drinkies.

Varley · #**585** 17th May 2017, 12:25

Hold on a sec. We've got to get that damaged automaton out of sight. Oh! ye gods, that's very nearly obscene can't it be switched off?

billyboy · #**586** 17th May 2017, 12:30

Quick....chuck it down the stewards alley. they will love it heh heh heh

Varley · #**587** 17th May 2017, 14:07

You won't expect me to service it after that will you?

(Oh look, I've just become a senior old FART)

Tmac1720 · #**588** 17th May 2017, 16:35

Fix anything me...... Harland and Bluff trained..... chuck that thing down the fiddly and Squeek will give it the once over.

Malcolm G · #**589** 17th May 2017, 16:41

You're going to have to stop it, please!
I'm getting flashbacks again.
I wont go into details but it involves penguins and duct tape...

Farmer John · #**590** 17th May 2017, 17:04

Not the penguins and the duct tape? I can understand why you are onboard, they are still seeking you on 4 continents (Ironically, not Antarctica) and your story is known everywhere where conservationists congregate. Shame on you, Sir.

I think if we take the batteries out, remove the carburettors, cut the red wire and use some ballistic netting we should be able to get the thing under control. It is a prototype, so we should fill in the log before we send it back. Just think, our trials will go to make life happier for lonely gentlemen all over the world.

So, Tmac, what was the make of tyres on that bike, and the wheel size? Oh, and it asks for the tyre pressure too.

Malcolm G · #**591** 17th May 2017, 19:10

Well that's all behind me now - Well, maybe not the best way of putting it but you know what I mean.

ssr481 · #**592** 17th May 2017, 19:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

Our guests will be aboard in half an hour. Must get dressed for the part. Best uniforms please guys. we want to make a good impression.
Steward! you know which glasses to spike later eh? thats right, keep the females on the weak stuff. make sure the Mayor passes out early.
I think I'll mix me powdered Viagra and Guinness just to get me in the party mood.
See to it our female crew have whatever they want on my tab steward.

I think I'll stay down in no. 1 hold skating on my ice rink during this one...

Tmac1720 · #**593** 17th May 2017, 19:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farmer John

So, Tmac, what was the make of tyres on that bike, and the wheel size? Oh, and it asks for the tyre pressure too.

Hankook big rubber ones.... wheel size...... inch by thick circumference .... 160 psi

billyboy · #**594** 18th May 2017, 01:10

(see that readers!.... Note the efficiency of our fine Engineering Dept

Ah welcome aboard Mr Mayor. So glad you could come and meet us all....Please take a seat in one our comfy chairs. Your lovely wife...Happy to meet you Maam. And these are you 3 Daughters! good evening Ladies!

Steward! Please see to it our guests have everything they need please.

Red-17 · #**595** 18th May 2017, 01:47

I have just been reading the last 2 pages of the log to see what you lot have been up to. Why is it that whenever I am away for a little while mayhem seems to develop on the GD?

Cyber dolls running amok, now I wonder who it was that brought it on board, especially without testing it first. Water being spiked, by god knows what and now the Mayor and his family will be partaking of fluids that will have been spiked!

Have you no shame??

If this goes horribly wrong we could be barred from ever making a landfall anywhere ever again.

Gentleman, and Patsy, (oops sorry), Pats, is this what you want? Do you want to end up like the SS St Louis? Drifting aimlessly with no home to go to?

I will cover, individually, at a later stage, comments about me bending over the railing! Aren't you pleased I have returned.

billyboy · #**596** 18th May 2017, 05:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red-17

I have just been reading the last 2 pages of the log to see what you lot have been up to. Why is it that whenever I am away for a little while mayhem seems to develop on the GD?

Cyber dolls running amok, now I wonder who it was that brought it on board, especially without testing it first. Water being spiked, by god knows what and now the Mayor and his family will be partaking of fluids that will have been spiked!

Have you no shame??

If this goes horribly wrong we could be barred from ever making a landfall anywhere ever again.

Gentleman, and Patsy, (oops sorry), Pats, is this what you want? Do you want to end up like the SS St Louis? Drifting aimlessly with no home to go to?

I will cover, individually, at a later stage, comments about me bending over the railing! Aren't you pleased I have returned.

In the first place we thrive on Mayhem...Its what keeps this ship afloat.
2nd we have been banned from so many ports around the world already (always manage to buy our way back in)

3rd, the SS St Louis....now there is a good idea...ha ha ha

billyboy · #**597** 18th May 2017, 05:51

Well here is my team Mr Mayor if each of you would like to team up with one of us we can give you a tour of the ship. Red-17, perhaps you would like to give Mr Mayor a conducted tour. No who's with me?...ah ok miss leta start at the sharp end shall we. Follow me to the focsul please.

Tom Alexander · #**598** 18th May 2017, 07:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by billyboy

Well here is my team Mr Mayor if each of you would like to team up with one of us we can give you a tour of the ship. Red-17, perhaps you would like to give Mr Mayor a conducted tour. No who's with me?...ah ok miss leta start at the sharp end shall we. Follow me to the focsul please.

Don't tell me you've changed the chain locker into a dimly lit rose tinted boudoir with a water bed and mirrors on the deck head??

Tom Alexander · #**599** 18th May 2017, 07:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by ssr481

I think I'll stay down in no. 1 hold skating on my ice rink during this one...

Now you wouldn't be drowning your sorrows in Ahrn -- sorry -- can't help rubbing it in a little bit after the last game.

Tom Alexander · #**600** 18th May 2017, 07:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Why pretend? TANNOY: Belay my previous -- Blue Peter stowed until further notice -- Invitation for the Mayor to attend with his daughters, and any other young maidens who are interested in ship construction, marine injuneering, and the dark, arcane art of navigation. Departure celebration tomorrow from 18:00 until ?? Gathering to convene in the pax lounge with free libations for all guests. (Barry -- perhaps you could arrange anchovies on toast as horses ovaries a la Coastie?) Maori dancing girls as entertainment-

Oh! My Goodness Gracious -- I have committed the ultimate boo-boo -- called our cook type person Barry --- Should have said Rodney !! (Like they say, close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades and garlic breath.)