virtual crazy gang, part II

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

in which case why are the tappets rattling away like a skellington abusing itself in a biscuit tin?

A biscuit tin would not accommodate a skellington. We have owned both.

[Tmac1720]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

A biscuit tin would not accommodate a skellington. We have owned both.

Oops my mistake Farmer John, I meant to say skeleton... but I did previously admit injuneers can't read

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Oops my mistake Farmer John, I meant to say skeleton... but I did previously admit injuneers can't read

For we can wrestle and fight, my boys, and jump o'er anywhere, and that is handy in the engine room.

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Try some hydrogen peroxide. Heat a teaspoon in a little hot water in a saucer, place a couple of drops in spoon to heat then pour into ear. It froths and bubbles and clears blockages wonderfully.

Hydrogen Peroxide eh? Weird stuff. The stuff of an inebriated matelot's nightmares after an encounter with a damsel of nocturnal habits with artificially lightened tresses. Also alleged to give submersible objects a higher than expected level of performance and endurance in dark wet places. Some early attempts to get man to go straight up vertically were driven by a combination of Hydrogen Peroxide and other devilishly noxious substances.

Hydrogen Peroxide. Try not to touch it, myself.

[Chadburn]

This vessel also used Hydrogen Peroxide to boost engine speed, HMS Deepwater on her way from Vernon to the Breakers.
A former war prize from Germany, due to her unusual engineering a German scratch crew under Armed Guard sailed her over here, however the Germans tried to sabotage the Engineroom and all German Crew were interned when they arrived in GB.
The RN did try to run the HP system but decided it was too dangerous and disconnected it.
I have been aboard her when she was alongside HMS Vernon in 1958, interesting Engineroom.

[billyboy]

I used a fag packet to gauge the gap Tmac. Maybe some rubber caps over the valve stems would help.

[Farmer John]

I have just checked, I can't find the set of three angled spanners for setting the tappets on the sidevalve Morris 8, they would have been a sovereign help to you, Sir William. You also need a mirror, feeler gauges and a 5th hand to turn the handcrank on the engine.

Do you know, no one has ever shown me where the indicators are on the GD. I am an old fashioned person and use the hand signals, but there must be some on the old electric somewhere.

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Red-17

I seem to have lost the plot with the conversation. Think it might be the three glasses of HV Merlot that I have partaken of this evening.

Oh! When you look on the wine when it is Red, be prepared for a fate worse that death. (To quote Mother!)

[Tom Alexander]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

I have just checked, I can't find the set of three angled spanners for setting the tappets on the sidevalve Morris 8, they would have been a sovereign help to you, Sir William. You also need a mirror, feeler gauges and a 5th hand to turn the handcrank on the engine.

Do you know, no one has ever shown me where the indicators are on the GD. I am an old fashioned person and use the hand signals, but there must be some on the old electric somewhere.

Come up to the wheelhouse, Farmer John and I'll show you our indicator system. It is actually a hybrid system -- those levers just outside the wheelhouse doors which were originally meant to operate just the steam whistles are now connected by cable systems to both the port and starboard indicators, which tru to form light up when protracted. The whistles still work in conjunction with the indicators - one short blast with the one to starboard, and two short blasts with the one to port. The electrical manner of operation of the indicators is more subtle -- to operate the starboard indicator one has to simply place one's hand on the starboard Lord Kelvin's Ball. To retract the indicator, remove your hand. The same procedure works for the port indicator. Needless to say, playing with Lord Kelvin' Balls can provide misleading information to nearby vessels.

There, unless there are any further questions, it's time for a couple of tots of Four Bells.

[Varley]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Oh! When you look on the wine when it is Red, be prepared for a fate worse that death. (To quote Mother!)

And I don't really think it is much nicer than beer either.

[billyboy]

Port and starboard lights will blink automaticly when we turn Farmer John. Tmac thinks of everything.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Varley

And I don't really think it is much nicer than beer either.

Philistine. I thought better of you Varley.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

Come up to the wheelhouse, Farmer John and I'll show you our indicator system. It is actually a hybrid system -- those levers just outside the wheelhouse doors which were originally meant to operate just the steam whistles are now connected by cable systems to both the port and starboard indicators, which tru to form light up when protracted. The whistles still work in conjunction with the indicators - one short blast with the one to starboard, and two short blasts with the one to port. The electrical manner of operation of the indicators is more subtle -- to operate the starboard indicator one has to simply place one's hand on the starboard Lord Kelvin's Ball. To retract the indicator, remove your hand. The same procedure works for the port indicator. Needless to say, playing with Lord Kelvin' Balls can provide misleading information to nearby vessels.

There, unless there are any further questions, it's time for a couple of tots of Four Bells.

Please explain.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Red-17

Please explain.

If you look at a large compass binnacle, you will see two large iron spheres. These are Lord Kelvin's balls. Careful manipulation of them helps compensate for the magnetic effect of the ship's structure.

I can't keep this up, I am laughing so much. Just don't bang them together, Lord Kelvin will appear and give you a sheepshank.

[billyboy]

I believe American ships paint them red and green so the helmsman will know which way to turn the wheel.

[billyboy]

any news on the entertainment bars ashore Tom.

[Red-17]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

If you look at a large compass binnacle, you will see two large iron spheres. These are Lord Kelvin's balls. Careful manipulation of them helps compensate for the magnetic effect of the ship's structure.

I can't keep this up, I am laughing so much. Just don't bang them together, Lord Kelvin will appear and give you a sheepshank.

Farmer John, I'm surprised, are you taking the mickey out of me?

[Farmer John]

Red-17 I am sorry, that really is the truth, apart from the not banging them together, but you try saying it with a straight face on this thread.

[Tmac1720]

Hitler would never have made a seaman, apparently he only had one ball

I am reliably informed Lord Kelvin hated Christmas because he would be hung by his balls from the crosstrees.

[billyboy]

happy you are back Tmac. Come, join me in the bar, dont mind my drum kit in the corner...(told Red-17 you have a big one)...Drum that is.
Steward! large black bush and a large malt please...oh what the heck bring a bottle of each.

[YM-Mundrabilla]

Pawnbrokers make up for Hitler as they have three. Not only that, they openly display them in public. One hangs lower than the others because it is on a longer chain.

[Farmer John]

Originally Posted by Tom Alexander

There, unless there are any further questions, it's time for a couple of tots of Four Bells.

Well, that is the best idea I have heard all day. 00.01

[Dartskipper]

Originally Posted by Tmac1720

Hitler would never have made a seaman, apparently he only had one ball

I am reliably informed Lord Kelvin hated Christmas because he would be hung by his balls from the crosstrees.

If Hitler had gone to sea, he would have gone around in circles. Or perhaps they could have hung him from the forestay as an anchor signal.

[billyboy]

I can see how we won now...we had a pair!

[PatriciaAnnT]

Originally Posted by Farmer John

Pats, if you remember, the cutouts may need guidance to ensure the piano is right way up. Mind you, it is quieter the other way up.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner.