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  #1351  
Old 6th August 2022, 08:13
Hugh Shuttleworth Hugh Shuttleworth is offline
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Nothing wrong with Aldi cheepo
Wife’s grandchildren don’t seem to mind and that’s all that counts.
Not much into jam but I do like a decent marmalade and Aldi's finest fits the bill.
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Last edited by Hugh Shuttleworth; 6th August 2022 at 08:18.
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  #1352  
Old 7th August 2022, 13:08
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Had a space and kidney pie for tea last night.

It was like a steak and kidney pie, only meteor.
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  #1353  
Old 7th August 2022, 16:34
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Had a space and kidney pie for tea last night.

It was like a steak and kidney pie, only meteor.
That one, while awful, gave me a good chuckle, Ron!

Rgds.
Dave
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  #1354  
Old 8th August 2022, 18:40
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My mate went to the Climbing Centre the other day & found that in a cost cutting exercise, the Council had removed most of the grips on the wall.

He said, “Typical, you just couldn't make it up.”
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  #1355  
Old 9th August 2022, 07:56
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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The holidays are here cried Dick and Dora, so we can relax and not worry too much about our grammar, syntax, puns, spoonerisms, alliteration, speling, misused homonyms/homophones, misspellings, improperly placed commas, run-on sentences, fragments, dangling modifiers, and so on.
Let it all hang out and concentrate on the humour.
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  #1356  
Old 9th August 2022, 10:39
Hugh Shuttleworth Hugh Shuttleworth is offline
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The holidays are here cried Dick and Dora, so we can relax and not worry too much about our grammar, syntax, puns, spoonerisms, alliteration, speling, misused homonyms/homophones, misspellings, improperly placed commas, run-on sentences, fragments, dangling modifiers, and so on.
Let it all hang out and concentrate on the humour.
Not forgetting the "aberrant apostrophe"
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  #1357  
Old 9th August 2022, 10:46
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Not forgetting the "aberrant apostrophe"
Should that not be a single inverted commas ? 😁
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  #1358  
Old 9th August 2022, 11:23
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Always was a great fan of Keith Waterhouse. Recommend all to read (except YM who was educated down under) Waterhouse on Newspaper Style.
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  #1359  
Old 9th August 2022, 12:06
Hugh Shuttleworth Hugh Shuttleworth is offline
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Should that not be a single inverted commas ? ��
Hmmmmmmm!!!! Don't get me started! I seem to remember being taught to use "Inverted Commas" to enclose speech; these days - may be a transatlantic thing, they seem to be called "Quote marks"! Have you just invented "a single inverted comma"? My journalist friend once wrote a column on the "aberrant apostrophe" in the regional newspaper.

Last edited by Hugh Shuttleworth; 9th August 2022 at 12:11.
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  #1360  
Old 10th August 2022, 10:26
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We sparkies could manage it, no bother.
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  #1361  
Old 10th August 2022, 11:52
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Choose carefully
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  #1362  
Old 10th August 2022, 21:24
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A matter of interpretation.
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  #1363  
Old 10th August 2022, 22:13
Engine Serang Northern Ireland Engine Serang is offline
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Took a while but then it clicked, the car salesman is polishing up his Rwandeese. Clever little chap.
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  #1364  
Old 10th August 2022, 23:13
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Hmmmmmmm!!!! Don't get me started! I seem to remember being taught to use "Inverted Commas" to enclose speech; these days - may be a transatlantic thing, they seem to be called "Quote marks"! Have you just invented "a single inverted comma"? My journalist friend once wrote a column on the "aberrant apostrophe" in the regional newspaper.
They were a pet hate of Keith Waterhouse too when he had a column in a national daily newspaper.
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  #1365  
Old 10th August 2022, 23:14
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Not forgetting the "aberrant apostrophe"
The next sign out of sight around the bend probably says "No Road."
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  #1366  
Old 11th August 2022, 00:06
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Always was a great fan of Keith Waterhouse. Recommend all to read (except YM who was educated down under) Waterhouse on Newspaper Style.
YM doesn't need educating having spent 50 years in the University of Hard Knocks.

Haven't come across Waterhouse but I am sure that half the population down here in Oz could benefit. I was brought up on the Australian Government Style Manual for Authors and Printers which covered pretty much everything in relation to the written/printed word. The abbreviated version of which was known colloquially as Tits for Typists.

It's an indictment on our education system that so many don't know the difference between the possessive and the plural with apostrophes and when it is pointed out to them they either don't care or they take offence and ignore it anyway. I have a friend who has an MA from Melbourne Uni and who is currently doing a PhD; he falls in this group.
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  #1367  
Old 11th August 2022, 08:07
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Apostrophes are demon commas from hell who have risen above their place for no other reason than to spread confusion and discontent.

I shoot them on sight's ....
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  #1368  
Old 11th August 2022, 10:26
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Apostrophes are demon commas from hell who have risen above their place for no other reason than to spread confusion and discontent.

I shoot them on sight's ....
Are sidearms allowed on building sight's these days?
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  #1369  
Old 11th August 2022, 10:33
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Suffice to say that I prefer the views of Lynne Truss to those of Liz of that ilk.
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Last edited by Malcolm G; 11th August 2022 at 10:36.
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  #1370  
Old 11th August 2022, 13:36
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Sticking roughly to the theme…
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  #1371  
Old 11th August 2022, 18:14
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More pendant than pedant, then.
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  #1372  
Old 11th August 2022, 19:24
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Reminds of that old joke of someone who got fired from the Good Samaritans suicide line. He took 43 calls and ALL of them committed suicide!!

This was made worse by the fact that four of the calls were wrong numbers !!!
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  #1373  
Old 12th August 2022, 12:28
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From the Bridge
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  #1374  
Old 12th August 2022, 14:02
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Had I been Janeway, it would have been a march down the working alleyway, number three airlock .... spaced !!!
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  #1375  
Old 12th August 2022, 21:44
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The Devon and Cornwall music festival had to be cancelled.
After much argument they could not agree whether The Jam or Cream should go on first.
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